Don't Tell Anyone But Here's The Secret To The New Fall Season

The networks have secretly promised sponsors their biggest advertising payoff in years. How? Watch the August announcements; 80% of all programming will arrive in four sure-fire categories. (1) Reality (2) Cops (3) Docs (4) Weird. But as diverse as these sound, there is one mesmerizing reward hidden in each: America’s long lost feeling of absolutes!

Our old black & white absolutes long ago disappeared into a miasma of moral relativity. Americans once knew which was which. The good guys always had white horses or blue uniforms; the bad guys always operated from the dark. Then came Vietnam, Watergate, Iraq and suddenly nothing was simply right or wrong anymore. Things became complex, morally debatable, so darn confusing why even GIs, CIA, and presidents were no longer guaranteed to get the girl and the nation’s thanks at the end.

Ahh but not worry. This fall these four categories get us safely back to those cozy absolutes. Think about it. Everyone on a reality show is absolutely, no-question-about-it wacky….every cop and doc program is back to the ultimate absolutes of life or death…every weird creature on screen will be in the absolutely weirdest outfits from the prop department. I mean, no more wondering whose good and whose bad!

Look, Americans are weary of thinking their way through what’s morally right and wrong anymore. We want the good old days when the actors made stuff like that absolutely clear.

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  • I personally want to go back to "A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver! The Lone Ranger! ..." ----- It was easy to know who the 'Good & Bad' were back then as I sat in front of a Philco radio the size of an upright chest of drawers ...

  • That's what kids today have no knowledge of -- that Philco upright [or in my case tabletop cathedral size] from which kids like us learned about the adult world. If only the actual adult world had turned out to be like that virtual world....!

  • In reply to Jack Spatafora:

    Ah yes Jack "If Only" .... I guess a lot of us were of that desire ... Alas the death of "Kennedy(s) & King" swept away the last of my illusions ....

  • Craig Ferguson pretty much put it the same way when he said of CBS's schedule "someone finds a fluid on the floor, and that solves the crime."

    Of course, you left out the CW (which probably no one watches), which has the only constant of "maybe little girls are interested in this."

    I guess Fox is reality, but the only certainty there is that "Englishmen are jerks [or another word Craig used]." With Gordon Ramsey having most of the summer schedule, who really wants to go inside a restaurant?

  • In reply to jack:

    Jack ~ My only feeling about TV these days: Is this the best we have????????

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