At Long Last > Why Do Women Inists On So Many Colors? What Does America Do When Television Goes To Commercial?

In a simpler time, women were simply known as mysteries. Men and song writers rather liked it that way. But somewhere along the trail, women decided they’d make other things mysteries as well. Like their colors. Men and even song writers managed nicely with basics like red, yellow, blue and green. Now…! well, now take green. We are now told there is: Apple, lime, asparagus. Moss, myrtle, jungle. Lawn, fern, forest. Not to mention Paris, Persian, Phthalo!

Those of us from Mars suspect those of you from Venus have an unspoken raison d’etre for this and other such delicious feminine obscurities. In simpler times, men held unfair advantage with the use of muscle. In response, women today take advantage with the use of mystery.

Watch any dazed man accompanying any woman through any Michigan Avenue dress salon. The mystery of everything from her colors to her cadences can neutralize him at any moment. And why not. Ever since Eden, we seem to to enjoy being neutralized…!

Do you know what happens in America at precisely 12, 24, 36, 48 and 60 minutes after each hour of prime-time programming? These are the trigger-points for network engineers across the nation to interrupt whatever you may [or may not be] enjoying with capitalism’s gift to the people: a commercial.

At one time we could switch channels, but now the national conspiracy of commercialdom has ordained all channels go to commercials all at the same time. Thereby igniting a new national mystery. What does America do when commercials come on? One piece of documentable evidence. Water levels from toilet use plummets. Meanwhile others are exploring other rooms for answers. Stand by…

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  • Read with a ready nod of acknowledgment to the conundrum Jack ... may one add "Why are there so many Mosquitoes"!!

  • In reply to Geezer:

    The philosopher of the North pushing the envelop....

  • Phthalo? The "ph" is silent. Just like the husband who shops with his wife.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    I resemble that husband...!

  • They don't all have commercials at the same time. In fact, one can watch both Jimmy Fallon and Craig Ferguson during each other's commercials.

    Which is the real problem. While Craig's show is listed as an hour, the full show videos on are listed as 36 to 40 minutes, meaning that there is at least 20 minutes of commercials.

    The other question is why the same commercial is on about 4 stations at the same time.

    On the other hand, you may have explained why most fashion and interior designers are gay men.

  • In reply to jack:

    Clearly, gentlemen,, we are wrestling with cosmic questions here...

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