The Fine Art Of Stealing A Glance At A Woman's Beauty In Public Places

We can all agree this is a “time that tries men’s souls.” I would only add that any time is a time to appreciate a woman’s beauty.

Now before you start…! This has nothing to do with objectifying or stalking beautiful women. Simply speaking for thousands of robust men here in Chicago and millions throughout the world exercising their God or Darwin-given right to enjoy the inestimable gift of feminine beauty on a summer day.

To be sure, there’s a delicate line between enjoying and gawking. Truck drivers and girder workers gawk. Men of my age (old!) and culture (finally passed chemistry!) have mastered the undetected glance:

* during an expressway gaper’s block, you pull up to her car and point down to her tires; while she checks them out, you check her out

* on a commuter train or plane, you work discretely from behind a partly folded newspaper; again proving that modern technology like the Kindle has its limits

* in a restaurant, you simply but innocently ask the waiter for a different (and closer!) table

* at a party, the rules loosen because now you’re free to speak as well as stare

Two exceptions to the rules: (1) at a ball game with thousands of screaming fans, you are permitted to stare as long and as hard as you wish (2) if you’re married, you explain to your wife the latest scientific analysis for this male behavior: “Honey, it’s not me, it’s my genes that make me do it!!”

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  • You are now my new favorite blogger. Not every man looks at me, nor am I expecting them to, but I HATE the gawkers and the freak shows.

    We know you look, there's nothing wrong with that. The difference is that the gawkers and harassers make you want to wear a burka instead of a summer dress. Trust me, I don't talk to or acknowledge the men who make me feel uncomfortable.

  • In reply to Woodlawn Wonder:

    Woodlawn ~ You say it well! After all, your beauty is to be experienced, not exploited......

  • In reply to Woodlawn Wonder:

    To be completely honest here... women like it when I check them out. It makes them like wearing their skimpy clothes. If you feel that you checking them out makes them want to cover up, perhaps you are looking at the wrong type of woman?

  • Another true story.

    I went to a bank to pull my money out, because the customer service representative had made false representations about a $250 bonus, if I would just come in and change my account. While telling her that I would not be lied to, I still tried to determine whether she had anything in the top of her sundress.

  • In reply to jack:

    Jack ~ You sound like a master at this this. Did you ever reach a viable conclusion...? Oh by the way, which bank was that??

  • In reply to Jack Spatafora:

    Conclusion--apparently not much, and while she was cute, there was a much hotter representative with a Greek name at another bank less than 1/4 mile east. Also similar with regard to a Greek name at another bank 1 mile east of that, except both she, and especially the bank manager, were dumber than dirt.

    I won't say the name of the bank, because I don't have conclusive proof of fraud, but they use a lot of Sinatra music and apparently don't have iPhone apps. That should limit it.

    Which gets to a collateral question: I can understand banks harassing people who owe them money, but not those with a large balance in their savings accounts, which applies to both banks #1 and #3.

  • In reply to jack:

    What's this about ladies with Greek last names being hot? I do declare!

  • Jenna "declares" but Jack won't. What we have here is an uneasy truce.......

  • I guess you didn't notice the "dumber than dirt" part with regard to Bank #3. Appearance doesn't trump everything.

  • In reply to jack:

    Jenna ~ It strikes me that JACK is trying to swing you around to his point of reference. Not easy, for the male & female of the species rarely see anything the same

  • In reply to Jack Spatafora:

    You may have a point in that the representative may have had one idea in deciding to wear a sundress to work for Saturday morning only, but it got another reaction, including that I would have yelled and screamed at her male compatriot at the next desk if he served me, as I did do with the dumb as dirt male branch manager at bank #3.

  • In reply to jack:

    We dumb.

  • Kim Vatis; Greek. Hot.

  • Jack, your post reminds of some lines from an Austin Dobson poem. "Learning can't remain at ease/While beauty goes a-walking."

    Funny stuff.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    Yes, yes..."beauty" in a world of so much ugliness should never be taken for granted nor ignored. And what, I ask you all, is more beautiful on a warm summer day than a beautiful woman......

  • BTW, would you call stealing such a glance a miss demeanor?

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    Haha, loved this.
    I like your sense of humor! Nice bit of refreshment for a Friday afternoon.

  • In reply to Amanda Muller:

    ...and maybe we should remain "refreshed" into the coming weeks, because with an election going on, these weeks will be getting dirtier by the day!

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    If a Woman makes me do a double take I walk up and I just say "excuse me but you are absolutely beautiful" and then I proceed on my way.

    I'm a Southerner and all that sneaking a peak and gawking are for others, we like to be polite and direct.

  • In reply to Gregory Curtis:

    Gregory ~ I tip my Mint Julep to you! You're right. Lately I've started to replace peeking with panache. At my age, women figure I'm too harmless to be anything but sincere.....

  • I love when men do a double take and send a compliment my way. That makes my day. Cute blog. Keep up the good work.

  • Single Girl ~ Double-taking your photo here, here's guessing you get a lot of double-takes. And yes I think you SHOULD take them as "compliments." As far as they go and go no further....

  • Don't forget the reflection check out. Whenever a window is being a reflective, it's a great chance for some under-the-radar checkin' out. The bonus is that you can't be conclusively busted for it because you can always claim to be looking at what was on the other side of the window and not the reflection.

  • Thank you, Mr. Spatafora!
    Discretion is surely the better part of valor. Sometimes, when a beautiful woman walks by, you just can't help yourself--but you can't let her see you checking her out, or let other women see you checking her out. One of my best is when I'm standing in line about 1-3 spots back, all the while, thanking God for His handiwork. Subtlety is everything, even in the "checking-her-out-as-she-walks-away."

  • In reply to HueyFreeman:

    Huey ~ You're right. Subtlety has become lost art in our in-your-face age. Which may be why the old Victorian mores have become so popular on TV with programming like "Downton Abbey" and "Pride & Prejudice." Keep the flame lit......!!

  • There is nothing wrong with a man appreciating the beauty in a woman -- as long as he is not objectifying her. Most men don't even realize that they're doing it because American society has taught us to do it -- and worse, has made it acceptable to most. Even worse: Most men who objectify women aren't educated enough to even know what that means. Guys, here's a tip: Give a woman praise for the individual human being that she is, not for the stereotype of how she looks or what she's wearing.

    Also, to Jack Spatafora: You meant "discreetly" when you wrote "discretely" here -- "you work discretely from behind a partly folded newspaper...." Sorry, but as an intelligent and beautiful woman, I couldn't help myself.

  • In reply to backtochiski:

    Backtochiski ~ Your fine editing skills alone tell me you are "an intelligent and beautiful woman...!"

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