The Simple Secret Cure For Your Paranoia

OK look, all you fellow paranoids, there’s a simple sobering antidote for us. The reason we often feel intimidated and paranoid around people like bosses, bankers, athletes and celebrities is because of the way we’re looking at them. Just think about it. Our insides — feelings, doubts, insecurities — are always looking at their outsides — status, beauty, power. Naturally we’re going to seem pretty inadequate by comparison

Hey! Hey! The simple secret cure is instead to try looking into their disguised insides. You know, THEIR feelings, doubts and insecurities.

Do they have them…? Damn right. Despite their best public disguises, or maybe because of their best public disguises, they have them like everyone else. When we’re all born, they come with the package. So now… what ribbons on their packages help betray them? And frankly us too?

* Attire comes quickly to mind. The clothes we wear are selected, consciously or unconsciously, to show the world what we want the world to think of us. Which brings us to the world’s dress, shoes, and jewelry stores where the prices range from a couple to a couple thousand bucks per item. Like the tale of the emperor’s clothing, often the more elegant the clothing the more there is to hide

* Cars are another instance. We turned in our horse for better transportation. Now, however, being transported from A to B is the least of our concerns. Instead it’s how we are being transported. Is there enough style, sound and status to tell the world: Look at me? The answers range from Hyundai to Rolls Royce

* Our homes are another public statement. Blue-jeaned roustabouts in motor homes all the way up to gated communities of MacMansions. Not everyone has a choice, but if and when we do, we sure aren’t choosing only with protection from the elements in mind

* Finally our dogs. I mean really, aren’t they status symbols too? By official count there are 493 breeds of dog in the world. Each, genetically still 98% wolf; but now domesticated, these wondrous pets say something about their owners more than their owners say about them. From lap dogs to Irish Wolfhounds, walking them around our neighborhood is making a big wolf of a statement

All right, fellow paranoids, make your own list of status symbols. But just remember — the symbols are the masks everyone still wears even after Halloween. However, from now on don’t let a single one of them ever scare you again!

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