Here -- Sit Up On My Knee

Young parents and aging grandparents periodically have the same wonderful opportunities on their watch. I speak here of when the little ones ask of your vast reservoir of adult knowledge an explanation for something that just occurred to them. Say like: Babies…God…Death…Mothers-in-Law.

You take this seriously, right? Like the time I tried to explain to 5-year-old Ricky where his sister Debby “came from.” After stumbling through birds, bees, and mommy-and-daddy, I realized all he wanted to know was which hospital. Besides, why in heaven’s name would any 5-year-old bypass a wise Mommy for a mumbling Daddy.

After poorly playing both parts — young parent and aging grandparent — here’s some news from the front. For what it’s worth, some thoughts on how to answer some common questions:

* “Why are there so many medicine bottles in the cabinet..?” Because there are so many commercials on television with beautiful smiling people running in slow-motion through pretty countrysides…!

* “Why do daddies play golf so much…?” Because you see, darling, daddies are silly and like to do silly things with other silly daddies…!

* “Why do mommies plant so many flowers…?” Because they like to believe they really tried, just before they go out and buy all these expensive silk flowers we have in the house…!

* “Who are these bad-people we keep seeing on the news…?” The truth is, our cities don’t really have bad-people; only some people who do bad things…!

* “Why do we eat so much pizza…?” Well now, that’s because Mommy and Daddy lost some of our favorite recipes in the flood! “Which flood was that, Daddy…?” Never mind, next question!

* “Why are those people marching in the streets lately with all those signs…?” Remember what the doctor told us about you last time; he said you want to cut down on our fat but at the same time keep building up more of our muscle. I think these protesters are trying to say the same thing…!

Oh…those other questions? Birth. God. Death. Mothers-in-Law. Well you see, sweetheart, Daddy wants to give Mommy a chance to answer some of your questions too. So like I always say: God ask your mother.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment