Tag: chicago

Get into the Halloween spirit with these freaktastic Chicago events!

This year, we are skipping the pumpkin patches/apple farms because frankly, THEY’RE ALL THE SAME (I know, womp womp). Basically, we spend an hour driving to wait in line to park, pay a $12 bazillion entry fee, eat a donut, feed some nasty goats, pick some apples and drive home. It’s always the same “experience”... Read more »

The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall

The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall
If you don’t know how the Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten system works, below is a little primer. 1.”Friendly” parents ask you for the name of your local school and either wince out of jealousy or compassion, or shrug their shoulders and say they never heard of it. They then inform you that  your life... Read more »

To the person who ransacked my car last night, HAHA

Back in college, some asshole smashed my car window and stole pretty much everything out of that little lemon of a car. From the stereo to my groceries (what? It was fall in WI. Stuff stayed cold), I was left with nothing. I also lost my ENTIRE CD collection (remember those?) because I was a... Read more »

For the record, Joan Cusack DID NOT try to kill my friend

Do you have a doppelgänger? You know, In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger, doppelgaenger or doppelganger (literally “double goer”) is a look-alike or double of a living person who is sometimes portrayed as a harbinger of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person’s relative or friend portends illness or danger while seeing one’s own doppelgänger is said to be an omen of death. In contemporary vernacular,... Read more »

Six Annoying Things That Make Me Want to Stab Myself in the Eye

Brace yourself. It’s been a rough day that included my mom kicking me out of her hospital room after I asked her to stop cursing at me (I did manage to get a high-five from the CPD officer outside…which totally elevated my mood). Because I don’t want to fixate on her current medical situation, I... Read more »

Joan Cusack watched me lose my mind

The holidays are a stressful time for many. Presents, money, time, money, calories, money. What can make them a little easier? Joan Cusack. “What?”, you say? Let’s do this. This past weekend, I was buzzing around Old Town looking for the perfect gift for my mother-in-law because the other three gifts I had purchased were... Read more »

Wicker Park resale shops are bad for self-esteem

Last week I had one of those freak out moments where I felt like I needed to purge everything in my closet or my head would explode.  I should have taken a “before” picture of my closet but I was too lazy. So just imagine actively choosing to go to Taste of Chicago to hang... Read more »

Bridal Gown Shopping for the Discerning Frugalista

It’ s been a minute since my last post and I have a fantastic excuse: bridal gown shopping with two sisters. Not sister-wives, mind you. That would be the easiest shopping trip ever; sew some sleeves on a peasant dress, clip in a long braid and you are ready to go. But no, these bitches... Read more »

Who really benefits from the CTA's Ventra card?

In today’s Chicago Tribune, reporter Jon Hilkevitch provided a superb summary of the ridiculousness that is the CTA’s new Ventra card. His take: Fees, fees, fees with regard to the prepaid debit card and a lot of ambiguity as to the implementation of the new transit card system. Below are my two immediate questions: 1. CTA... Read more »

Chicago Spring Break: Secret parks

I don’t think these parks are really all that secret, but that is how they were billed when I was younger. Regardless, they seem to be off the path (pun REALLY intended) for people like me because I don’t make enough of an effort when it comes to entertaining my kid. And if none of... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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