Category: domestic disputes

8 ways my DNA broke my kid

Yesterday I sliced my finger open with a bread knife. There was blood, a ring-finger wrapped in paper towel secured with scotch tape, and four stitches. I called Mr. Swirley laughing about the ordeal and he once again exclaimed that EK and I are the same person: We have ZERO going on in the coordination... Read more »

Suburban Haiku: 17 Syllables and a Little Insight Into My Own Absurdity

Six years ago, I ventured to a HS freshman-year volleyball game to cheer on my  cousin and all of her new, awkward friends. “WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?”, a  parent yelled as a 13-year-old missed  a spike. One might have even referred to my cousin’s teammate as “useless”. Welcome to crazytown. Now that I have a... Read more »

Six Amazing Valentine's Day Gifts My Husband Can Get Me This Year, But Won't

A few days ago I spied a cookbook gifted to me by my mother-in-law titled, “How to Make Love & Dinner at the Same Time.” Eek. Susie Q getting saucy! I ended up setting it on fire, so I obviously didn’t follow the rule of not heating up the kitchen.  But it did get me... Read more »

Domestic Wars: Backyard Bargaining

There’s a war afoot in the Swirley household. Now that spring has arrived, we have to decide what to do with our backyard. I, being the loving mother who would like to keep her child occupied while she gardens, reads, lazes about, am lobbying for the purchase of a used slide for EK. Mr. Swirley,... Read more »