Skylanders, Lego Dimensions, Pokemon: What the Hell is my kid talking about?

My kid turned six this week. He asked for two gifts for his birthday: a Nerf Zombie Strike gun and Lego Dimensions, a video game to play on his hand-me-down X-Box. I turned to my BFF, Google,to figure out what in Sam Hill this child was talking about.

Ultimately, I opted for a single shot crossbow that has resulted in him getting annihilated by neighborhood kids and his aunt came through with the video game.

Buckle up, I’m about to sound REALLY OLD.

VIDEO GAMES ARE A TOTAL RACKET. All of ‘em. Now get off my lawn!


To preface my rant, I’ll share that I have zero interest/experience with video games and thus am just educating myself on the ins and outs of the industry. I’m sure you’ll let me know if I am totally off base or generally acting a jackass.

Whether its Skylanders Superchargers (figures and vehicles run $10-15 per with a buy back rate of less than $1.00 each from Game Stop) to Lego Dimensions, these character games marketing people are EVIL GENIUSES.

91HokaOmgbL._AC_SL1500_Take for example our most recent acquisition, this Dimensions situation. Sure, it’s engaging for kids and adults alike, but sweet Lord can you bankrupt yourself just to play the game.

First you buy the “Starter Pack” which sounds innocent enough. You build your portal out of Legos, place physical Lego characters on said portal and off you go.

HAHA, just kidding.

Watch your kid deflate once she figures out that specific types of characters are required to enter certain areas and/or levels.


Then get ready to pony up $30 per “Level Pack” to gain access to the goddamn game that you already own. Throw in the “Fun Packs“, “Story Packs” and the “Team Packs” and you’ll find Tommy TV’s 529 at a negative balance and a pile of discarded Legos at the bottom of the stairs. WHY DO THEY DO THAT?

Well played Lego/Xbox/whoever you are, well played.

This has got me wondering what else will pique my kid’s interest.

The whole Pokemon Go craze this summer sucked young EK into its commercial black hole. While he tried his hand at the game, I certainly didn’t give him unfettered access to my phone; mama’s got to clip coupons and ogle other people’s babies! Cue PokemonXY  cartoon series on Netflix instead. As a result, I’m routinely quizzed on “who’s who” in the Pokemon world and I usually walk out with an F-. He’s already planning a Pokemon-centric Halloween costume and trading cards with friends. I want to understand this whole thing, sort of.

I imagine there will be a lot more confusing fads coming down the pike so I’m going to have sack up before he has a chance to kick his old mom to the curb. Or at least feign sacking up while he spends his allowance like a proper ‘Merican.

Don’t rely on fickle Facebook for updates. Subscribe to Swirleytime below for more stories of screw-ups, caregiving and weird observations. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Leave a comment