3 reasons potty training is THE WORST

We are in the throes of potty training our youngest and I’m done. I’m done with diapers and undewear. I’m done with victories and setbacks. I’m done with carpet cleaners and reward stickers. I’M DONE. I’m sure if I stop now, #2 will figure it out by kindergarten, right? Or at least by the time high school rolls around? Good, so that’s settled.

Fine, I’m NOT throwing in the towel yet (for me and for him), but I’m going to take this time to sulk–because I can (we just had a major accident and I’ve got a good hour before it’s go-time, so to speak). Here are 3 reasons that potty training is the worst….ever.

1. Pee

Really this is the lesser of ALL evils as far as motherhood goes. On the list of things I’d rather clean up over others, pee is my #1. I know where it came from, and how to get it out of stuff. No mom is afraid of a little urine after they have seen what else comes out of children. *shudder*

2. Poop

Things escalate quickly on this list. Poop is a certain kind of hell inflicted upon humanity. It comes in various forms and sizes but it is ALL awful. It’s also tricky and difficult to clean.  And, any mother who’s ever realized that her kid has dropped a duce in his Ironman undies knows what I’m talking about. (My advice: throw that shit away).

3. Failures sometimes feel personal

Remember that major accident I mentioned earlier? It came on the heels of several successful days of potty training. I keep telling myself that my son is young, and still learning and that he didn’t MEAN to lock the door to his room and shit and piss in his pants while I was on the phone (after telling me he needed to go 4 times and not actually going). I mean, there’s such a thing as accidents and coincidences, right?

I’m willing to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, but there is something personal feeling about some failures, even if the purpose wasn’t intentional. It’s like our kids have learned unleash their bowels on the world for good and evil.

Um, who drinks coffee in on the pot? NOT THIS GIRL.

Um, who drinks coffee in on the pot? NOT THIS GIRL.

For now, I’ll just try to calm down as I tuck away my carpet cleaner and bath soap. I’ll try to remember that growing up is hard to do (on all of us) and that my kids are still a gift, even if they pinch a loaf in their pants for me. Here’s to you all in the trenches with me today and in the future. CHEERS, GALS.



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