So who am I, the author of Spiritual Suckitude? For starters, a wife, mom, daughter, friend, boss, employee, citizen, writer, working in advertising, living in the Chicago area.
But who am I really, and why am I writing this blog? Especially because I am SO not a theologian or a pastor or a guru, or a spiritual giant. (I’m possibly more like the opposite of a spiritual giant, whatever the politically correct term for that might be...)
Who I am, today, anyway, is someone trying to figure out what it means to be a more holy or at least more holy-ish person, and a more whole person...in the middle of a regular life. A life which does not include long stints in monasteries in Scotland or walking labyrinths in the south of France, or hanging out with monks in Tibet. Or discovering spiritual vortexes, unless I happen to run across one while on family vacations... That's me, pictured below, with my husband Gary in Costa Rica...nowhere near anything vaguely vortexian, as far as I recall..
And that’s what I write about. The regular life I have is one that many of you may recognize: a full time job I don’t always love so much, a husband I love so, so much, even though we have some “issues” occasionally, two kids now in college, who I’m trying to figure out how to be a mother to, in this new phase of their lives, two cats and a turtle named Karl, who is way more high maintenance than I ever bargained for, too big a mortgage payment to walk away from my full time job, no matter how much I might want to on certain days, therapy (years of it, bucket loads of it), which I originally began in order to deal with an eating disorder…but of course, discovered, in the course of therapy that the eating disorder was just the veritable tip of the iceberg. Oh and I go to church, on a fairly consistent basis, even though I have so many problems with the Church (capital C), and the things that people do in the name of God and Christianity, and frankly, the things they don’t do… that I kind of cringe to admit that.
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." So says Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. Me, I'm not so sure. Maybe being fully human and fully alive and fully awake is what it means to be spiritual and there really is no division between a spiritual experience and a human experience? It seems like a good question among many good questions, and I’m interested in asking questions, as I turn my days over and see what's beneath them. And then again, I'm mostly interested in finding hope and living by faith and not by chocolate.