Eight things Sox fans can do while waiting for a Quintana trade

Eight things Sox fans can do while waiting for a Quintana trade
Jose Quintana in Spring Training, 2015. (Daniel Shapiro / SoxNet)

White Sox fans have been presented a hard choice this offseason – support a full scale rebuild that saw the Sox bring back hauls for Chris Sale and Adam Eaton or be angry about a rebuild that saw the departures of Chris Sale and Adam Eaton for unproven prospects.

Judging by the landscape of Facebook comments, the twitterverse, message boards and radio call in questions – our general consensus is that White Sox fans are excited.

It makes sense. Midway through the 2016 season Rick Hahn put the baseball world on notice: Stating that the Sox were, “mired in mediocrity” and asserted that soon “a decisive direction would be clear after a transaction or two.”

We all know what happened next. Chris Sale is now the scariest monster at Fenway Park and Adam Eaton will pair with Bryce Harper to create one of the most intense outfield tandems ever in a never ending quest to “make baseball fun again.”

Now, we’re all looking at Jose Quintana.

He’s going to the Yankees on Monday. He’s off to Pittsburgh on Tuesday. Wednesday, he’s a member of the Astros. Thursday he’s on a flight to the Rocky Mountains. Friday, he’s having his 1976 replica White Sox jersey stitched back together for when Sale comes to town.

A few things are certain; No one knows what’s going to happen with Q, the shoe is going to drop soon and die hard fans are grasping for any rumor, contradictory or not, surrounding the Rick Hahn’s last remaining blue chip

So, SoxNet to the rescue. We’ve got your back with the following list of things to do as an aid in occupying your time until Quintana gets sent off to greener pastures, where pitchers supposedly get run support.

Things to do while waiting for the next trade

  1. Memorize the farm systems of the Yankees, Pirates, Rockies, Astros, Rangers and everyone else just to be safe. When a Quintana deal happens, you need to be prepared to discuss the trade with all of the South Side prospect gurus. Is Austin Meadows to be the most beloved center fielder at The Cell Guaranteed Rate Field since Aaron Rowand? Is Gleyber Torres finally going to make his Chicago debut? How do you pronounce “Glasnow”; ‘glass-NOW’ or ‘glass-no” (hint, it’s the former). If they get Riley Pint, will they tank for Clemson’s Seth Beer for obvious marketing benefits?
  2. Write letters. Write Rick Hahn love letters for being a master negotiator. Write Kenny Williams, begging him  to not trade these prospects. Write Lucas Giolito, Reynaldo Lopez, Dane Dunning, Yoan Moncada, Michael Kopech, Luis Alexander BasabeVictor Diaz letters of welcome.
  3. Watch videos of Jose Quintana set to Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. This may sound absurd, but seriously, give it a try by clicking here. It’s amazing, sentimental and oddly befitting of Jose.
  4. Gut your garage and go on an epic “Man Cave Mission.” You’ll need somewhere to watch a lot of MiLB.TV this year – and MLB.TV if you decide to keep up with our former southsiders. Pay for your cave by starting a driveway snow shoveling business – if it ever snows again.
  5. Dig into a nice classic novel. A Tale of Two Cities sums up the current Chicago baseball landscape. The Men in Black comics could provide a fun time. Or actually pickup a SoxNet favorite, Minnie and the Mick by former Chicago Tribune sportswriter Bob Vanderberg.
  6. Bring back Waldo the White Sox Wolf. Waldo was a short-lived, never costumed, cartoon mascot of the White Sox in the early 90s. If trying to decipher what exactly Southpaw is, feel free to adopt a puppy and mold them into the long overdue live-version of Waldo.
  7. Brush up on Aztec mythology. On the off-chance Quintana stays with the White Sox, this seems like the perfect time to get Hawk to adopt his unofficial SoxTalk nickname of “The Feathered Serpent,” taken from the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl.
  8. Refresh SoxTalk. Every five minutes. For 16 hours. Every day.

Want to read up on the White Sox farm system and stars of tomorrow? Check out Future Sox.

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Filed under: Humor


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  • Or just change the blog's title to "Cubs Den 2011." Even if Sox fans haven't been coming out, they sure won't now. I wondered who the Sox will put on the field after making all the trades; so far the only name mentioned was Derek Holland.

    Maybe Barry Rozner's advice re the Cubs in 2014 applies here: Don't spend any money on them, and don't listen to their games on a cut rate radio station until, in the Sox case, about 2021.

  • In reply to jack:

    If the Sox get another good haul for Quintana, I think you can move up your time table about 2 years.

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