10 random reasons to vacation that only moms will understand

10 random reasons to vacation that only moms will understand

Sure, everyone gets excited about vacation. But you do not know sheer delight until you’re #vacationmom.

#vacationmom is NOT a mom on a vacation WITH her kids. That, by definition, is not a vacation. Well said, The Onion.

Vacation = “freedom or release from duty.” A four day bachelorette party in Las Vegas? THAT is a vacation.

In a super scientific poll via text messaging friends, I present 10 random reasons to vacation that only moms will understand: 

1) Absence of crumbs. Crumbs. The F’ing bain of my existence. My fellow vacationers might get sloppy drunk, but I doubt they’ll walk around, leaving a trail of graham crackers behind them.

2) Wearing white. There is a time and a place to wear white. Unless you’re a mom. Then, that time is never. But for #vacationmom, the time is now!

3) The plane ride. This is the opposite of traveling with kids; the flight is undeniably the worst part of any trip. #vacationmom, on the other hand, gets to read…or sleep…or DO NOTHING.

4) Not getting ready at lightening speed. Unless you want to wake at 4AM, you will never get all your desired grooming done with kids around. Two hours in the bathroom? No problem for #vacationmom!

5) Uninterrupted toilet time. My toddler hides under the kitchen table when he poops, so why can’t I have privacy while taking care of business? Hellooo, hotel room. Now I can!

6) Not looking wistfully at lounge chairs, but actually sitting in one. Perhaps even take a nap?! In general, naps are a bad idea when you have children in the pool, but genius for when you don’t.

7) Eating; but not just fancy meals. Sitting for more than three minutes, having clean fingers that haven’t just wiped someone’s face, sitting for more than three minutes. Did I mention sitting down?

8) Reading a trashy magazine book. Every. Single. Mom said the same. At home, when you get a chance to sit down, you’re too exhausted to read. On vacation, you can sit whenever you damn well please.

9) Not worrying about inopportune poops, rigid nap schedules, whether or not the taco stand serves chicken nuggets… You know, all the normal stuff to which #vacationmom pays no attention.

10) Being excited for vacation to end. Squeals of “Mah-meeeee!” accompanied by a four year old’s bear hug and a toddler’s head burrowing into your chest. The cure for any hangover…I hope…

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What random reason do you have to vacation sans kids? 

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