As my co-conspirator in changing poopy diapers and cutting hot dogs into a million pieces, I feel he’s earned his right to guest post. Please enjoy the following, written by my hubby 🙂
You’ll never be ready to have a kid, so start trying immediately. Yesterday, if possible…..
Now, this advice comes with a caveat: First off, parents are like zombies. We want to eat your flesh and make you one of us. So yes, I’m biased. Also I’m certainly not discounting legitimate reasons for family planning (finances, relationship status, etc). This advice is for the 27-33 year old who finds it stressful to fit in brunch before Sunday kickoff. The one who has a Facebook page full of photos in exotic places, and fears a child would mean the end of it all.
Here are 4 reasons why you should try to have a kid now.
1) Planting the seed. (Pun 100% intended.)
There’s quite a lag time between pulling the goalie and the actual birth. In fact, 40% of couples do not conceive within the first 6 months of trying and 20% take more than a year! Add in the 9-10 months of labor and let’s call it 15-18 months on average. Think how different the world was 18 months ago! Orlando Magic Jerseys with the name Dwight Howard were still in production. Aaron Hernandez was a name only known by fantasy football geeks. LeBron had no rings. The next 18 months will bring change as well, and chances are that if you have even remotely softened to the idea of children, in 18 months you will be completely immersed in the idea and thankful that the clock is already ticking.
2) You won’t be a better parent than you are now.
Diapers will need changing. Teenagers are going to hate you. Waiting five years won’t change any of this. You will learn, through on the job training, to deal with these issues as they arise (Luckily, nobody ever gives birth to a teenager.) If you have friends that ask you 900 times in a row to hold them up in the air so they can dunk on a toy basketball hoop, then ignore the above statement. In that case, what you are doing now is directly applicable to parenting.
3) Bed Bath and Beyond…..if we have time.
Sure there are sacrifices involved in parenting, but it doesn’t mean the end of everything that “Single you” liked doing.
This weekend Pearl Jam is playing a concert at Wrigley field; It’s pretty much going to be the most amazing thing ever. If you asked me if I’d rather spend a day with my son, or go to this concert, I regret to say that I’m going to Wrigley! Now if you asked me what I’d rather do every day for the rest of my life: go to this concert again and again or hang out with my son, I would answer the opposite with just as much certainty (after returning the tapper and flipping on a pot of coffee, of course).
Luckily, parenting doesn’t work this way. You don’t have to spend every day with your child, and you don’t have to give up the things that are most important to you. I often say to my wife, “We can do anything we want. We just can’t do everything we want.”
4) It’s better when it’s your kid.
Go ahead. Make fun of your stupid friends for posting pictures of their kids on every holiday, season, and weekday. Just be ready to forgive them in a few years.
It’s different when it’s yours. I honestly don’t even remember the last three World Series Champions. Couldn’t care less! But man, if my Cubbies went on a tear and won the World Series, you better believe I’d be on Waveland Avenue throwing bottles in the air and lighting cars on fire. It would be epic! It’s the same way with kids (minus the arson). All the boring stuff that other kids do is suddenly amazing when yours does it. Look through our archives and you can probably find about 90 minutes of a 3 month old sitting there, slightly twitching his arm every minute or so. But at the time, I wasn’t sure if I’d see something this amazing again in the next 102 years.
Tonight my wife is out with some friends having drinks. Two years ago I’d have joined her, but this is one of those “Can’t do EVERYTHING I want” types of nights. Instead, I put my son in his pajamas and we listen to his favorite song “Carry On” (Kee-On) by FUN and dance in his room. Then we read “The Lorax” before he goes to bed. It is the highlight of my day.
That may sound like a bad night, but in 18 months, you’ll understand.
Filed under: Parenting