I have the pleasure of hosting a guest blogger today who prefers to remain anonymous. She considers her story to be a cannabis success story. So, without further ado, her is her post.I suffer from a lot of mental health issues and I am a pothead. Yup, I am being brutally honest about myself. I look forward to the moment I walk in the door and I hit the pipe or smoke a blunt. I cannot even leave the house without hitting the vape pen or a bowl. Hell, you might catch me walking around the Loop with a Pax2 in my hand, waiting for it to go green so I can suck in the fumes to relax my mind for the long ride home. My favorite find is CBD/THC wax in a Gravity pen. I highly recommend it if you are seeking a quicker delivery of the CBD/THC combo and smoking a joint/blunt/bowl is not really an option. If you are looking for an edible way of consuming the CBD/THC combo I would recommend the Rhythm’s Pre-98 Bubba Kush.
Right about now some of you might be looking down upon me, thinking there has got to be a better solution than pot. Or maybe you are in the same boat as me and looking for your paddles to help you go upstream where it might be safer. I am not going to tell you to go smoke a doobie and see if that helps. Pot is not for everyone and not everyone is made for pot. Edibles work for me and not for my sister or you could totally crash hard into paranoid delusion like an ex-boyfriend of mine did. Please choose wisely.
Many have told me that I need to seek professional help and maybe take an antidepressant like Zoloft. But, at this stage in my life, I do not want to go through what my father did with Prozac. Nor do I want to deal with what my ex went through when he was between drugs because the formula was no longer working. I have already blocked out most of the bad things in my life. Do I need to lose my happy memories too just so I can have a sane month?Why do I need pot in my life? I am a cancer survivor who suffers from PTSD. Yes, I am a cancer survivor that suffers from PTSD. It might not be the same PTSD that a soldier might go through after seeing the brutality of war, but it is PTSD, nonetheless. Every one of us suffers from a form of PTSD whether we know it or not. Mine just happens to be from the numerous surgeries due to infections, medical setbacks, the need to take other body parts due to the possibility of cancer forming in those areas, and the anxiety of it all. The surgical PTSD had given me a whole new set of issues. That is why I sought pot as my solution.
After everything I had gone through, I was mentally fucked. I was at a point in my life where I was done and the anxiety was starting to take over. I started to think there was nothing left in my life. I began to fear riding the train and feeling the glares of other passengers. I feared seeing the doctor and being told I would have to go under the knife yet again because of an infection or some other bullshit going on.
When I feared falling asleep, I started smoking more pot. I smoked so much that I am now at 2 ounces a month. I cannot go to bed without first turning off my head with the thought that I might not wake up. I had no one to talk to, no one close enough to me that I could trust with the darkest of secrets. I had no one who could help guide me through this tumultuous time in my adult life.
I need pot because I now fear sex. Because of the genetic type of cancer that was found within me, I had to have a complete hysterectomy. With that being said, I no longer had any idea what was down there. I was no longer interested in masturbating and I no longer wanted the company of a man to feel the hormones flowing. The only thing I wanted was to hide in a closet for the rest of my life. I worked in offices where raunchy conversations were the joy in my life. Now, sex is the butt of a sarcastic joke, if anything. I was even writing an erotic book which I have thrown to the wayside because I can no longer connect sexually to the story I was writing.It has been a little over 2 years since I had the breast cancer removed. It is a year since I had my reproductive parts removed and almost a year since my last surgery. Pot makes me no longer care that I am not the same me I used to be. it makes me more of a tolerable person when I have to deal with crazy all day long. It makes my anxiety less of a problem to deal with. It makes me forget the small things that used to upset me in big ways. It also makes me more of a patient person than I used to be. Pot is my antidepressant drug of choice. Anyone down for smoking a blunt with me after work and relax a bit?
As always, I LOVE to read your thoughts and comments on this post.
I’ve written a series of posts about medical marijuana. If you want to read more you can click on the “Medical Marijuana” tag at the top of my page.
If you enjoy my rantings and ravings and don’t want to miss a single new post, please sign up for a subscription. It’s really easy. Here’s how…
Click on the tab Subscribe by Email at the top of my post. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time. I promise I will not sell your email address to the highest bidder.