The Sting of Being "Unfriended" on Facebook


You always remember your first time…no, not THAT first time…the first time you were “unfriended” on Facebook. As far as I know, this is my first time. If this has happened in the past, I wasn’t aware of it. I would imagine that your first time is the most painful and that it gets easier with experience. I have to admit that it does sting. It catapults me back to my high school days where I was kinda invisible, but that’s an entirely different story.

I try to be a good Facebooker; I don’t post pictures of my kid 27 times a day, I don’t post endless cat videos and I try to post interesting information on my professional massage therapy page, Kneadalaugh. I post my latest blogs on my Soapbox Momma page, but I don’t post more than once a day, if that. And yet, I was “unfriended.”

I kinda sorta understand why this person “unfriended” me but it makes me very sad. I have known this person professionally for almost 20 years. My husband, Martin, also knows her professionally. I have never considered her to be a friend, as such, but I didn’t expect this response to the letter I sent to her.

Here’s the thing…Martin and I are both self-employed; I am a massage therapist and Martin is a voiceover performer. The state of the economy has not been kind to either one of us for the past 4 years. I was trying to “think outside the box” since the avenues I have been using to drum up business for both of us isn’t exactly working.


I knew where she lived via our Facebook relationship, so I decided to send her a hand-written letter. Since she is well connected in her industry, I asked for her help in getting us some referrals and even sent her a gift certificate for a free in-home massage. Pretty nice. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of this, if nothing else, since I knew she likes massages? I thought this was pretty clever, on my part.

When you parent a child with special needs, you get pretty damn creative at coming up with solutions in all arenas of your life. I wasn’t exactly surprised when I didn’t hear from her. But I never expected her to react by “unfriending” me. To quote the bard, William Shakespeare, from Julius Caesar, “this was the most unkindest cut of all.” Too melodramatic? Pretentious, moi? Maybe. It just occurred to me this morning that I wasn’t getting any of her updates. I googled “how can tell when you have been unfriended on Facebook?” One of the ways is to check the person’s page and if it says “Add A Friend” instead of “Friends” with a check mark, then you can safely assume that you are now persona non grata in this person’s life.


Whatcha gonna do? Life goes on. Have you been “unfriended” on Facebook?
I would love to hear your comments and maybe it will make me feel better.

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