Could My Son Be Another Adam Lanza?

My heart goes out to all the parents, grandparents, siblings and friends of those 28 people who died last Friday.  It seems like yet another senseless act of loss of life which is becoming common place in this country.   I hope that this time things will be different and that those 20 children who had their entire lives ahead of them did not die in vain.  I hope that this time, our elected official will actually do something about the gun control laws, the easy access to assault weapons and the millions of mentally ill young men who end up like Adam Lanza.

I have always been and I will continue to be opposed to the possession of guns by private citizens.  The only reason to have a hand gun is to kill someone.  The only reason to have an assault rifle is to kill a lot of people at once.  This supposedly “God given right to bear arms” is crap.  Plain and simple.  The US is the only “civilized country” where there are thousands of deaths due to gun violence.  I believe it was somewhere around 15,000 deaths this year alone. I’m sorry, but when I read that Nancy Lanza taught her son to shoot, I think the woman should have been locked up.   

Now there is evidence that Adam Lanza had Asperger’s Syndrome.  I hope that there isn’t a backlash of violence against autistic people as a result of one person’s behavior.  I have a 12 year old adopted son, who we finally realized is most likely autistic.   He is different than most autistic children in that he is not a loner and he has a lot of friends which is puzzling to his father and me since he bosses them around.  And yet, luckily for him, there is something so charismatic about him that kids still want to be friends with him.  But, he has a low tolerance for frustration and copes with it by detroying property.  He used to hit us, but he doesn’t do that anymore.  We realize that his destruction is anxiety driven, like a panic attack and for some bizarre reason it soothes him to destroy things, mostly his own.  

I have been trying to find an intensive anger management class for my son for years now and I can’t find one for him.  That’s because we live in a society where instead of proactively helping children like mine when he is manageable, we wait until he is grown up and has mostly likely hurt someone before offering him help.  If that isn’t insanity, I don’t know what is.

I hope that my son doesn’t end up on the front page of the news like poor Adam Lanza.  But, here’s the difference between Nancy Lanza and me.  I do not own a gun.  I have never held a gun.  I will never own a gun and I will never put a gun into the hands of my son.


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    I do agree with you that assault weapons should not be available to civilians.The problem with your idea is that it does not capture every scenario and it would be impossible to do that given how intelligent this boy was. He would have found a way to make this killing happen regardless of whether or not he had access to guns. If not guns, it could have been a homemade bomb or arson. The root of the problem is the mental illness and there are a lot of parents out there struggling with raising explosive and challenging children. They need more support and ways to handle the difficulties they face.

  • It may be true that Adam would have found a different way of killing but we will never know since his mother not only gave him access to an assault weapon but taught him how to use it.
    I completely agree with you about the lack of support for children with mental illness. My son had an explosive tantrum yesterday and I ended up calling 911 and asking for the police to come to my house. They told us to "get our shit together with our family" and stop calling the police. There is no one who will take him for even a few days so we can regroup. It is terrible and tragic!

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