What It Means to be a Facebook Friend

What It Means to be a Facebook Friend

We’ve all done it. Sat around with a handful of friends and made fun of social networking. “Pfffft, FourSquare…like WHAT? Right?” Or, my personal favorite, “Yeah, can you believe he tweeted that?! I know. Like, who’s gonna actually read that?”

iphone-facebook-screenBut then, the VERY. NEXT. TIME. we find ourselves, sitting-at-a-train, oooor sitting ON a train; we’re gonna do it. Maybe we’re home taking a quick break. We’re gonna launch that app and just, well, just “check in” real quick to see what’s going on. Or we’re at work, sitting behind our desks, just…disugsted with these idiot people who work here. You think, “Let me go see what these other people are up to.” So you do. You do! And hey, it’s okay. So do I. We both do.

And now, now let’s share it with the world. Why we really have “friends (on social networks…because an article on why we have real friends, pheeeewwww! That’s a whole other story. Talk to me at Christmas maybe.)”

We’re Curious!
Just like that little monkey George, we all get a kick out of that bit of voyeruism. We want to know WHAT’S going on! Whether it’s “The Bachelor”, or the secretary, or your grocery store clerk’s whore daughter, we WANT to know!!! Tell us…better yet “SHOW US!”
“With photos?!?”
Yeah, that’s cool I guess, can I put a fancy effect on it though?!
I Can?! OH boy! Well, that’s nice, but it’d be even cooler if it could do video!
“It can.”
It CAN?! That’s great, it just…well mister, it just costs too much.
“Well, then move along, son.”
Oh, fine, I’ll just buy it anyway.

We Want to Know Someone Notices
movie-ferris-scene-at-parade Alright, I’ll level with you. I’m am an attention monger. Like, an episode of Hoarders, only, hoarding attention. Some people like it, some people don’t. Eh! BUT, inside, we all want that attention. Sometimes it’s from just one person, sometimes it’s from more. And sometimes, it’s just nice to see a little “like” or comment from an old friend. Makes us feel good, THEY noticed.

And in a way, we want to be noticed. We’re all funny! That’s why we say whatever we say. Watch, I’ll give you an example. Later this week I’m going to post an article about “10 Questions To Ask Your Future Self [Video]”. What you’re going to see, is the comment section fill up with people posting their funny questions. Because we all want to think we’re better than someone else! Why are you going to post a comment with your question?! Because you’re funnier than me. Well, truth is, you probably are. I’m really not that funny.

facebook-notification-panel-so-you-have-a-girlfriendBUT you want to put it out there because we all get a little “feel good” at the idea of someone chuckling at our comment.We all like logging in and seeing that little notification panel lit up. It’s our “You’ve Got Mail”. There could be a private message which, oh man, scandalous, I wonder who it’s from?! Notifications. Maybe some more likes on that funny status. Seeeee, you knew that was gonna be a popular one.

planters-mr-peanut-characterAnd when someone we don’t even know likes our comment?! Ohhhh man. What an exciting time!! Who IS this person?! A friend of your friend liked YOUR comment on their status. Either you’re THAT funny, or they want your nuts. 90% of the time though, they want your nuts.

Why We Post, And Follow, And Comment
We want someone to know WE notice.

“Hey! Hey You!!! I see this! Cool shit, bro!”
Hey, if you thought that was funny, check out this awesome Bears Facebook page.

We want to be helpful. We want to offer advice or comfort.

You need a mechanic, man, I’ve got the BEST mechanic.

We genuinely would LOVE to be there for that person. We just want to do so in the quickest, easiest, absolute fastest way possible…so we click “like”. Because what are we gonna do, call them?!


Do you KNOW how long that could take?! I’m clicking like, we’re done with this.

We want to share cool stuff, funny videos or a crazy photo. We want to give people a peek into our lives. Whether it’s family, or friends, or friends of friends. We want them to see how fun our lives are, how ridiculous our friends can be or how amazing that outfit looks on you. We invite them in like vampires. “Come, please, come see where I live and the things I do.” Again, some people only need a little attention, some want a lot.

So What?!
So now, you’re going to think this is either the biggest piece of narcissistic bullshit you’ve ever read, OR, you’ve realized a good majority of this article actually relates to the way you feel.

We’re all busy! We’re all running around. Do I really have time to catch up with my old friend Nikki from High School?! No.

#^%$ NO!

No, like, not even for a minute. No offense, Nikki, just…ehh, ya know! Doesn’t mean I don’t care.

But, we all have those friends and sometimes we just want to say thank you to them. We may rip on Facebook, but at the end of the day, we’re still on it. We still want to be a part of it. We’re proud of the number of friends we have. Whether we’ve done our best to weed out the douchers and keep our friend list exclusive, or we’re a Facebook whore accepting anybody who beckons, we take pride in our number.

So those friends of mine, I know you post stupid shit and so do I, but I’m still glad to see what stupid shit you’re posting. Thank you to the old local band fans and college buddies. Hockey teammates and high school classmates. Friends in other states, other countries. Extended family and old co-workers. Close family and current co-workers for that matter. People I’ve only meet once, or those I’ve had the pleasure of sharing more time with….just, everybody who ever looks at our feeds or takes the time to notice us. Thank you.

Related Article:
The Loss of a Facebook Friend

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