By Laura Miller for Six Brown Chicks
As we stare down the barrel of another Valentine’s Day, I’d like to send a few words of encouragement to the 124.6 million single US adults out there. I also want to encourage those within relationship limbo, situationships, and those that have hit a snag in their longstanding partnerships.
Truthfully, Valentine’s Day can breed discontent regardless of your relationship status.
By the time you read this, you’ve probably heard Muni Long’s “Hours and Hours” several times, and have seen weekend proposals that were more dramatic than a soap opera, and/or numerous declarations of love that just let’s be clear, seem way too perfect to be real-life situations.
It’s almost like people are shoving their love down your throats!
But before you decide to give up on the day, allow me to put some things in perspective. February 14th is 24hrs only. Just like any other day, there are so many things you can do to alleviate the exposure to love overload. I reached out to Sex Therapist Dr. Kres Snyder of Minds Empowered Counseling Services and Sex Confidence Coach, Coco the Conversational Freak to offer their advice on how to make the day special whether you have a boo or not.
TIP 1. LEAN INTO YOUR FEELINGS
Dr. Kres: “Everyone says don’t be sad. No one says it’s ok. We don’t always get to have what we want. It’s called balance. We have to take good with bad. Reflect in times of sadness. Celebrate in those of joy. Sadness at times can fuel us. It can create the push to be better, do more, and find love in a good way.
TIP 2. We don’t need to have a person just to say we have one. We need what belongs to us.
TIP 3. GET YOUR SEXY ON!
Coco, Sex Confidence Coach: “Feeling sexy is inner work and has nothing to do with your relationship status.
TIP 4. Being single on Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to focus on yourself and be your own best lover because at the end of the day, who knows your deepest desires better than you?
Learning to cater to yourself sets the tone of the lover you want to attract and the standards that they will have to meet. Make sure to love on yourself and celebrate self-love and pleasure this Valentine’s Day.”
TIP 5. CELEBRATE A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE
Dr. Kres: “The thing is love is awesome. Love though comes in many forms. We can’t forget to express and welcome love in all its ways. The more we lean into it the more we have the opportunity to enjoy it when it comes romantically. Spend time connecting with yourself, your friends, and your kids if you have them. I’m going to have a FaceTime dinner with my daughter, and we’re watching one of our favorite romantic comedies. It doesn’t have to be a grand overture, but being in tune with your Circle of Excellence, the people that matter in your life can help you enjoy your day.”
Coco, Sex Confidence Coach, adds the final tip:
TIP 6. How do you feel about yourself? Changing perception and mindset is key.
Thus, whether you’re treating yourself to something nice, or calling your bestie, love is all around us, we just have to pay attention to what we have. Just remember one thing, you’re special. Being in a relationship doesn’t define your worth, and if no one told you today, I’m rooting for you. Your path is already written and love will find you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Laura Miller is CEO of SG Media and Entertainment &The SistaGurl Blog.