By Zondra Hughes
A few days ago, #HurtBae broke Twitter. (HurtBae = A dude admits to being the worst boyfriend ever; the girl cries, but loves him anyway. She’s Hurt, he’s Bae. Everyone is sad, then angry, then sad again.)
Cuffing season is in full effect, and there’s no reason to make #HurtBae your new reality. If you’re only on the market for the winter months, do your thing.
If you’re looking for a lasting relationship, however, my Twitter friends caution there are 5 relationship red flags you shouldn’t ignore. Read and take heed!
1. He/She lies for no reason.
Lying early on in the relationship is a sign of more deception to come. “It was a simple question, ‘How many kids you got?'” *David recalls. “She told me she only had two young kids. Come to find out, she had two teens and two small kids. She said that the teens were grown to her, so she didn’t mention them. But I knew I couldn’t trust her.”
2. He/She snaps.
Keep in mind that men and women are on their BEST behaviors in the beginning, and if he snaps on someone right out the gate, just keep it moving. “We were at the store and a kid bumped into him, and suddenly he cusses the little boy out,” June recalls. “The boy was only 7 or 8, and he didn’t do it intentionally. I held my tongue and I knew I wanted nothing to do with him. How can you pick on a child?”
3. The EX has no idea the relationship is over.
*Angie recalls an uncomfortable situation at her ex’s house early in their relationship: “So, he invites me to his house after our third date and this woman pops over. He opens the door and let’s her inside. She’s just sitting there glaring at me the whole time. When he introduced us, he explained that they used to date, but now they’re just cool. But, she was all dolled up like she wanted to get it on, but I WAS IN THE WAY.” Angie adds that a few months later she discovered that the guy was in fact, sleeping with both of them at the same time.
4. He/She asks very personal questions about your finances.
“I’m dating this younger guy, and at first, his conversations were endearing,” *Sheila says. “He was so impressed that I owned a business, and he wanted to learn more about entrepreneurship. Then, he wanted to know more about my personal finances–how much money I earned, if I had investments. His conversations were very intrusive. I realized he wanted to know my worth, and, specifically, if he could dupe me into financing HIS recording studio. I slept with him a few times and then let him go on about his way.”
5. He/She has no friends, family or others who are willing to hang around.
“My coworker was new to town, and I assumed the role of showing her around, etc.,” *Michelle says. “We grew close and secretly dated for a few months. We worked in the same department, and I got a promotion that she wanted. That’s when all hell broke loose. This bitch stole my credit cards, drained my accounts, and took indecent photos of me while I slept. She sent those photos to everyone, and told HR that I sexually harassed her. I lost my job, she still works there, causing trouble for others, I’m told.”
What are your relationship red flags? Tell us!