Hot off the presses! Our Shemeka Michelle is laying it all out in her new book, Keep It Naked: A Naked Girlz Guide to Live Life Authentically. Here’s an excerpt.
Excerpt from Chapter 6 “RELATIONSHIPS”
Communication is extremely important in relationships.
Sadly, many people lay beside each other every night but still fail to communicate.
When you are in a relationship with someone you are trying to build a life with, communication is indispensable. Avoiding certain topics or issues because they are uncomfortable to one or both parties is a bad idea.
The scripture Luke 6:45 states that, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
I take this to mean that whatever is truly within you will reveal itself in some form or fashion. Suppressed thoughts, feelings and emotions don’t normally remain suppressed. It is necessary that you and your partner create a safe space within your relationship for difficult things to be discussed. Never make your partner feel like he or she can’t come to you and talk in safety. No one wants to feel like it is necessary to walk on eggshells in one’s own relationship.
This is another life experience that I learned the hard way.
When I was married, I can remember the day we closed on our first house. I also remember the day we sold it; moving into a townhouse with our three children.
I thought my former husband and I were on the same page. I thought we both understood that selling the house opposed to allowing it to foreclose was the best thing for our family.
At the time, my husband’s business wasn’t making enough to pay the mortgage and allow us to live comfortably. Leaving the closing and turning the keys over to the new owners, I remember expressing my sadness to him.
Although I knew we were doing what was best, it didn’t change the fact that I was feeling like something had just died. It felt like a huge loss. I had no idea that he took my emotions as my being disappointed in him because he didn’t communicate his thoughts to me at that time.
I had expressed my feelings to him because I thought it was safe. I had smiled during the closing, chatting with the new owners about how great the neighborhood was and how they were going to be so happy there. Therefore, I thought it was okay to cry on my partner’s shoulder when no one was watching. However, he didn’t feel it was safe for him to ask me if I was disappointed in him.
Maybe he thought it would start an argument, an argument that he knew he wouldn’t win because as I stated before, I liked to have the last word. Or perhaps he thought I was too weak to handle his feelings of despair.
Whatever the reason, instead of communicating with me, he started another relationship with a woman outside of our marriage. When the relationship was exposed, he claimed that he simply needed someone to share his feelings with about the selling of our home. I felt completely devastated.
This wasn’t the first time that he had used the excuse of a lack of communication for forming outside relationships with other women. I couldn’t understand it. Although I didn’t always agree with him or take his words as law, I was always willing to talk, scream, yell, whatever we needed to do to express our hearts.
It’s also important to me to be with someone who I can share every aspect of my life. I don’t want to have to be a person divided. If I can’t share my hopes, dreams and fears with the same person, this isn’t someone with whom I want to settle.
After years of dealing with the same shit, I made the mental decision to shut him out of certain parts of my life. That was the wrong thing to do.
Over time, our lack of communication ripped irreparable holes in our relationship.
ABOUT SHEMEKA MICHELLE
Shemeka Michelle has encouraged thousands worldwide to break free of shackles and live transparently. She continues to bend all the rules in this remarkable book. Keep it Naked is an aggressive self-help book based on her real life experiences. This book honestly discusses topics from relationships and parenting to religion and divorce. With over 15 years of empowerment experience, Shemeka’s honest and direct approach makes her advice simple and easy to follow.
Drop your armor at the cover! Come on in and rest your tired disguise. Freely sip from Shemeka Michelle’s cup of honesty as she strongly compels you to Keep it Naked!