By A Comeaux
“Alright sis! I see you all vegan/yoga/zen lifestyle look good on you girl, now tell me about this man you got… Wedding bells?”
Guilt is as instant as the façade of a smile you’ve mastered.
For Black women, this is today’s real nightmare: When You Meet Mr. Right but He’s Not Right for You!
Here’s the thing, we’ve highlighted the lowlife types so much that I’m not sure we revised the description of Mr. Right, today. Some women ask no more than for Mr. Right to have a car, job, and his own bed, because, its THAT tight out here.
Ladies, how many of us have actually dated from a pool a viable candidates titled Mr. Right? It’s foreign to too many of us who can attest that a triple double doesn’t come by often.
I love our Black men, but bro is often missing a couple slices of the Life pie.
So seriously, what do you do when you don’t like Mr. Right? Do a self-evaluation like a real GAW (grown a** woman) and check yourself if you’re being petty, superficial or unreasonable.
We can’t look for folks to be real with us if we can’t check ourselves; that’s how we learn to take criticism from others too, because we’ll be able to see ourselves and assess if they’re on point.
When we’re honest with ourselves, we can be sure that we’re aligned and clear.
If we truly don’t like this person, despite that he ‘looks good on paper’, we have to be clear in how we handle him. That’s the hard part. That’s the part too many of us have talked ourselves out of and married someone we couldn’t stand because it was a doable convenience.
Sis, we must avoid that lie of a life. It will take courage to walk away from a man who’s type–in today’s market–is rare.
How do we tell people around us why we walked away from a good man that adores us; “Don’t you know how lucky you are? Men like him don’t usually date black girls, you better keep him if you’re smart!”
Look yourself in the mirror and mean it when you say you don’t want him. You’ll see him married on Facebook in a month. You’ll need not sob, okay? Do you truly just simply in all honestly not Like this man? For no certain reason or issue to resolve, something happened somewhere and you said, ‘Not him.’
Don’t play with him or lead him on or force a feeling you know ain’t coming.
Self-check thoroughly because you’ll feel this one. These are indeed rare. Even with the pie being complete there’s a component that has no name, its just a feeling.
You don’t see or say it–you just know. Even when you’ve guessed wrong before, if you’re honest, you knew better then too. You know when you know, but you gotta let go when you know ‘this Mr. Right’ is not the one for you.
I’m A Comeaux and just like I refresh my resume, that Mr. Right list needs a brush up as well… Editing for Love.
A Comeaux is on Facebook.
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke