Nakita Nicci: What Nobody Told Me About the Swirl

Nakita Nicci: What Nobody Told Me About the Swirl

Ever thought about the swirl?

Sure, we often hear SOME frustrated black women/men say; “I am tired of brothers, I’m going to get me a white man/woman; white people treat you better.”

The truth is, I was one of those women that did try the swirl–things were going great until my white man revealed he was into sadomasochism!

So imagine sleeping with Christian Gray without Charlie Tango, maid, butler, looks, billions, etc… Just a cute ass white boy who’s more than eager to abuse you sexually. Not so 50 shades at all.  

So here’s the story, I met this guy and he was super cute; 6’2, dark hair, amazing body, he could dress his ass off and he had a little soul. He enjoyed listening to old skool R&B such as Johnny Gill, Luther Vandross, etc. I loved the way he dressed and our first conversation was about fashion and his love for women’s shoes. He also mentioned he has no problem buying handbags for his lady.

He mentioned; “If my lady want that new Michael Kors bag, I will buy it for her, I want my lady to look good and compliment me always!”


(Although, I personally prefer Louis Vuitton bags, but I appreciate his efforts certainly.)

On the first date, we went shopping! Talk about a man after my heart. We went shopping for pots and pans for his new condo but that didn’t stop him from buying me a few items. After shopping, we went to dinner. We received a few nasty stares from black men, ironically, and an older black man had the nerve to ask me “why was I with that “white man?”

I didn’t even respond to that fuckery.

So back to dinner…

During dinner, he asked questions about my family, probing to see if they would be okay with me dating a white man. I laughed because I’ve dated many different races.

Let’s see the list:

  • Middle Eastern – Check
  • Puerto Rican – Check
  • Island men – Check
  • African Men – OH YES!! LOL

I considered myself an equal opportunist when it comes to dating because you never know who God Intend for you to have. I just know he never intended for me to become a human pretzel for some man’s pleasure.

The night that changed everything…

We’ve been dating some time now. We opted to not have sex right away and we should “focus” on getting to know each other more. I was falling for this guy, I believed that this polished professional was perfect.

“I’m all yours sweetheart,” is what he told me.

We made out a few times prior to this evening. He talked a great game about giving me the best pleasure sexually I’ve ever experienced. “Nah, I don’t see that happening bruh, but shopping was nice,” is what I told myself–but let’s just do it and see what happens.

“Oh baby, I just love your ass,” he said

“I just need some ass time with you,” he says again.

Meanwhile I am thinking: “if he thinks for one damn second…Oh hell no!”

But that wasn’t his plan at all. He literally wanted me to stand there while he sit on the couch rub and kiss on my ass. Like seriously!

So now we are making out and it’s about to go down.

“Oh baby (which this oh baby crap is getting annoying). I want you to bite it until it bleeds!” he says.

Nothing could have prepared me for this. We weren’t drunk (he doesn’t drink) although the moment was steamy, it wasn’t cannibal steamy. I’m not a vampire sir so no. This kinky fucker was beyond turned on too. I am NOT chewing on this man’s penis! No absolutely not!

Without notice, he forcefully turned me over and started biting and punching my ass… I swear I think he put a hickey near my crack.

So as I sit there wondering what the hell just happened. He looks me dead in the eyes and say, MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

 I decided to not spend the night, so I drove home sore and confused.

I waited a few days before I addressed this with him. While he was bragging on how much fun and exciting that session was the other night. The words came out of me like word vomit. I told him, I felt low and dirty. It felt like abuse and borderline racism. The look on his face was heartbreaking. He literally had tears as told me I was so wrong about how I felt.

We continued the rest of the evening with that weird tension in the room…

That was the last time I spoke to the masochist.


One’s race doesn’t determine how a person will treat you. Bullshit men comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. I personally think it’s dumb to judge an entire culture based on a few bad people.

Follow Nakita's on Twitter @Nakitawhittaker

Follow Nakita’s on Twitter @Nakitawhittaker

Nakita Nicci is the host and creator of LANIQUE Beauty Bar. LANIQUE Beauty Bar, a division of LANIQUE Cosmetics is a web series showcasing Chicago’s Industry Leaders in Beauty, Health, and Fashion and let’s not forget Cocktails!

Learn more about the Six Brown Chicks here. Follow us on Twitter @SixBrownChicks

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