By Gina B.
Ladies, having great girlfriends is extremely important. And just what do girlfriends have to do with dating, you ask? Only everything! Your girlfriends are your confidantes with whom you discuss the men that you’d like to meet, date, love and partner with. They’re who you hang out with, and the ones who unwittingly shape your opinion about who you’re attracted to.
I have the best assortment of friends that a girl could ask for. They’re supportive, non-judgmental (for the most part), and trustworthy. They’ve been with me through each relationship, and have provided sound advice or a sounding board – depending on what I’ve needed.
While they are worthy, this isn’t a tribute to my girls. The point is that women can be very mean to each other, so if you don’t have truly good girlfriends, you might need to change your surroundings!
The selection process can be challenging. My friends didn’t fall from the sky and land on my front yard with invitations to be my BFFs. Believe me . . . I’ve certainly churned through some toxic beeyatches. Here are some archetypes of creepy chicks that had to be banished from my life:
The Opinionator: She has strong opinions, and her bossy conversations are rife with phrases such as “here’s what you NEED to do.” She frequently espouses her perspectives on who you should be with, and makes assessments about who is or isn’t “good enough” for you. Ironically, her life is often a tangle of bad decisions. Ignore her. She will keep you single.
The Gas-Face: The ultimate attention craver who makes sure that she stands out in the crowd. If you get the most male attention, she sulks, pouts, shoots venomous looks and makes mean comments, such as “Wow. He likes you. I guess he must have a thing for fat girls.” She’ll sleep with your boyfriend, just to see if she can. Bye Felicia.
The Firestarter (or The Cray-Cray): This girl is drama on two legs and was probably voted Most Likely to Have a Restraining Order Against Her. She likes to rock the boat in her own relationships, and will look for any opportunity to do so in your relationship. If you have a fight with the boyfriend, don’t tell her about it. No matter how trivial the argument, she’ll turn it into an apocalyptic tragedy and will never let you forget it.
The Cling-On: This friend is so clingy and needy that you often find yourself wondering if the two of you are actually dating. She’s demanding, and gives you major grief if you don’t return her calls within 15 minutes, or make plans with your man rather than her. You’ll have long exhausting talks about your friendship, praying that she will find a boyfriend and get out of your hair. Your man is plotting her abduction.
The Invader: This fun-loving gal is way too familiar. She wants to be friends with all of your friends, and thinks it’s okay to take the uninvited initiative to call your boyfriend and hang out with him — even when you’re not around. What’s the harm? You’re all friends, right? Don’t be surprised when she starts sleeping with him. In the name of friendship, of course.
The Competitor: First cousin of The Gas-Face, The Competitor loves attention. The Competitor, however, is far more manipulative. She subtly finds ways to best you. She is deceptive because she’s outwardly very nice, although she’s quietly on a quest to decimate your self esteem.
The Trollop: She is “spirited,” has a vibrant social life, and she’s spreading the love. Pretty much everywhere. She covers a lot of ground, having blown through entire social groups or small cities. While she can be extremely entertaining, you will tire of hearing first-hand intimate information about any man that you decide to date.
The Man’s Woman: She’s all about men, and feels incomplete unless there’s a man in her life. If you have plans, she will honor them . . . until a man comes along. She will support your relationship, but if you’re single, she can’t be counted on for your girls’ nights. Or basic conversation.
Remember that a good friend is not underhanded. We should be inspired by our friends and a healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself. As in dating, if you’re a good person, you should attract good people. Periodically you’ll encounter a toxic chick, and it’s up to you to either deal with it, or hit the reject button.
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