By Zondra Hughes
Summer love brings out the best and worst in lovers. These are the six most common relationship personas that are bound to make you cringe.
Check it out.
1. Side-Chick Shannon.
Cheaters often misguide their mistresses with the following lies: He’s married but not in love. He’s living in the same house with his Main Chick but they don’t sleep in the same bed. He has a baby’s mother but he’s only there for the child. He hasn’t had sex in months. He’s fallen in love with you, but he has a religious commitment to his family and you could never be together.
And so on.
Sometimes, Side Chick Shannon wastes years of her life, as she patiently waits in the wings to assume that coveted spot of the Main Chick.
Sometimes, Side-Chick Shannon does get that promotion, more often than not, she doesn’t.
Only you know the odds in your relationship; place your bets accordingly.
2. Placeholder Paul
On the bottom of the Totem Pole is the placeholder, and as the name suggests, he’s just hanging around, taking up space while his mate is secretly on the prowl for someone else. Sadly, you can’t really know you’re a Placeholder Paul if your lover is a really good actor; but broken promises, and disappearing acts can be tell-tale signs that you’re not a priority.
3. Desperate Diana
Tell-tale sign of a Desperate Diana—you don’t want to be alone and ANY warm body will do. If you find yourself dating below your standards, putting up with outright disrespect, and/or, moving strangers into your home, ask yourself WHY. What is the big rush to find a partner?
In other words, stop looking to others for love and acceptance. Look within.
4. Over-Giving Olivia
If you have drained your bank account, co-signed for a motorcycle, financed his education, and/or made other big budget purchases in the name of love, you are not likely to receive the love and adoration that you hoped. Men want to feel like men, someone you can look up to, so to speak. If your presence is a constant reminder that he would be nothing without your finances, he will cringe in your presence (and creep with someone a rung below his professional or financial level).
5. Invisible Isa
At a typical networking event, some folks enter a room and a natural spotlight hovers above them; others blend into the background, and seem to melt into the walls.
What separates a shining star from an Invisible Isa? Confidence; self-worth; style and swagger. In relationships, becoming invisible may also entail muting your own personality, style and/or favorite hobbies in order to conform to what your partner wants.
A good mate loves you for who you really are, and not for what he or she is manipulating you to become.
6. Thirsty Thomas
There’s no mountain too high, and no valley too low that will keep you from pursuing your mate. If you’re doing all the heavy lifting in your relationship—that is, making all the calls, the plans, going out of your way to spend some quality time, etc.—perhaps the relationship isn’t that important to your lover.
Step back and reevaluate your position.
Zondra Hughes is a digital storyteller and creator of The Six Brown Chicks. Follow Zondra on Twitter @ZondraHughes
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