By A Comeaux
Why aren’t references required for relationships?
Jobs ask for them whether you’re a nurse or a nanny, a cashier or an executive, new employers would like to know who and where you came from and the reason you’re no longer there…
You can’t get credit unless your financial history is checked and approved. No such thing as a fluffy resume without names, numbers, and dates of your previous employment.
Now let’s dissect this. Pertinent information about your past is required to vouch for your future credit worthiness and employability. Should you require such background checks for your heart? The background/credit check could induce a sense of anxiety in those who’ve made poop-piles in their trail before arriving to you.
Well, I’d like to think that my heart is just as valuable as a bank or place of employment. Isn’t yours?
Now here’s the next step: To whom would you enlist to speak of your attributes? How many exes, how many past relationships can you approach for a reference?
I get it. It’s frightening to even write this. Trust me.
My relations resume isn’t flawless but I’m compelled to believe we MUST have some insight on those we trust our bodies, hearts, energy and life to.
Wouldn’t it be beneficial to know the last three people were cheated on, lied to and left BEFORE you fall in love? Yes. We all make mistakes. Sure relationships falter. But I can’t see how taboo this is when it makes complete sense to know from whence your new boo has come and what baggage he may possess.
Just as there are companies that offer credit as a second chance, these flawed lovers can also get a break! But knowledge is P O W E R and by the time we obtain pertinent info on our own, sacrifices have already been made and the love may already be in jeopardy.
I want to know if you’re a nut case BEFORE I interpret your ‘free spirit’ as a cute and eclectic personality. I’d like to know of your legal rap sheet prior to having you over for dinner!
Now we ALL must agree to be transparent. And yes, there are some exes that would gladly sabotage the chance of you moving on peacefully. That’s why three references should be required; the best of three.
Now don’t discredit my ambition here just because I’m single. I’ve got some glowing recommendations just as I have a few flawed ones. I’m okay with that.
This may be drastic. But it’s real. And if impossible, then fault my heart. Friends, associates, and exes alike watch broken lovers dive nose deep in relationships with no remorse or recourse for the naive newbie on deck.
Listen, if you see me with someone you have some vital info on, that may help prevent stress and criminal charges, please tap me on my shoulder, Tweet or email me.
I’m a Comeaux, and I’ll give you mine if you give me yours. Before I become your next, I’d like to check with the Ex!
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke
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