By Nakita Nicci
The pain of a heartbreak is one of the worst feelings imaginable. The unexplainable tingle in your tummy due to the lack of energy you have, it’s a process we’ve all experienced in our lives.
Now, the million dollar questions are: “How do you really get over a breakup?” More importantly, “How do you bounce back into the dating world?”
As for myself, I am a divorced mom, Lupus survivor and career woman. Simply put; I have NO TIME to WASTE TIME. I found myself on the opposite side of a love song a time or three, and I’m going to share with you my 7 tips for getting over a break up and bouncing back in 30 days!
1). Acceptance (starting day 1) – This is the most important part of the breakup. ACCEPT that it’s over! You have to mentally tell yourself, the relationship has officially run its course. Nothing more can be done. DO NOT convince yourself or allow yourself to believe, you can breathe life into a dead situation, you are only prolonging the inevitable and wasting your time quite frankly. Release, breathe and restore. *And don’t call them! No need to speak your peace, it’s over, and PLEASE don’t drunk text.*
2). Push it through, get it out! (The first TWO days of the breakup) – Take TWO days to cry and be sad, that’s all TWO and GET OVER IT!!!! Yes, you loved this person. Whether it was in love with them or in love with habit, your life is now shifting because there’s an open space that a special person once filled.
3). Now it’s time to remove those memories (the first week) – I think it’s important to remove old pics, teddy bears, letters, etc. Do not indulge in this. You’ve come so far by now. It’s still easy to fall back into that Love trap. It’s really easy to remember all of the good stuff when you break up. That’s called denial.
4). Avoid Social Media (For at least 2 weeks) – I’m not saying deactivate your page, log out and take a break. By all means do not log in, also remove the settings so you can’t receive inbox messages. Also, if you are not ready to remove your ex from social media, that’s fine – just know it may have to be done in order to heal. The last thing you want to see is him and his new boo during your healing process!
5). Activate the “Go to Hell” feature on your cellphone (30 days) – Block their number, no texts, no calls, NOTHING!
6). Take some YOU time (The next 2 weeks AT LEAST) – Avoid venting too much about this to your girls when you are going through a breakup (really, you shouldn’t share all of your problems with your girls anyway for multiple reasons but let’s stick to the break-up part). You have two types of friends, the ones that will give it to you RAW and tell you how glad they are that you are broken up, they never liked your mate, etc. and/or the passive friend that will continue to allow you to vent and be miserable over the break up.
It’s not even worth the mix of emotions. Try redirecting your attention elsewhere – go to dinner with your friends, get a massage, start writing, workout, etc. The goal is to keep your mind off the breakup. This eliminates the urge to sit at home and binge-watch love stories and/or facebook-stalk your ex. *I would also steer clear of dating right now* REMEMBER: Hurt people, HURT people!
7). Back to you – Congratulations you’ve made it! Remember just a month ago you thought you couldn’t live without that person? Now look at you… living!!! Morale of the story, life goes on after breakups, just keep living. Each person that crosses your path are put there for a reason, some are put there for a few seasons and some are for both. That’s the beauty of it all – so enjoy life, balance your emotions and go with the flow! Who knows, maybe you’re ready to find you a summer boo *wink*
Nakita Nicci is the host and creator of LANIQUE Beauty Bar. LANIQUE Beauty Bar, a division of LANIQUE Cosmetics is a web series showcasing Chicago’s Industry Leaders in Beauty, Health, and Fashion and let’s not forget Cocktails! www.laniquebeautybar.com
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