by Ramel Werner
Dear Future Wife:
Even if you have a vision or idea of what your future mate will be like, it is important that you define the specific traits in your life partner. An example would be, “Someone who has a calm temperament and handles stress well.” This may sound minor, but the reason it is important to put the important qualities you desire into writing is to hold “you” accountable. It also gives you heightened discernment in dating situations.
Just like “character” is one of the most important qualities of a good man, the woman you’re going to marry should have good character as well. When you find her, she is more valuable than anything.
Here are 6 qualities of what a good man looks for in a future wife:
1. She shares his beliefs.
You’ve heard the term “equally yoked” right? Well, God must be the head of her life because we all know there will be times that issues and conflict will arise in the marriage, so it is imperative that there is a common foundation on which to hold the union accountable.
2. She is self-developed and whole.
You don’t have to have traveled the world but a well-rounded life that you’ve created for yourself that includes healthy friendships and an outlet for service is a goldmine. Your also most likely a reader, and devours things that interest you. Quite often you initiate and contribute a fresh perspective when conversing with your man and you’ve developed your personal philosophies by thinking through and researching several viewpoints. A man wants you to be confident about your opinions without being dogmatic.
3. She offers him respect and priority.
I’ll let you finish with all that “Love Language” talk but believe me when I tell you all good men want you to appreciate them with your words, affection, time, and your gaze. When he walks through the door, you stop what you’re doing, and greet him: the man you love just walked in. It shows respect. And yes, this should absolutely be reciprocated to you as well!!!
4. She makes him a better man.
If the majority of your time together is drama filled, then that should be a red flag. She should be elevating him to Himself 2.0. If friends and family say he acts differently in a bad way when he’s around her?!? Not a good sign. She should bring out the best in him, and certainly not bring out heartache and Prozac prescriptions.
5. She’s the best sex he ever had.
Drake said it best “Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin’ with no make-up on… “Cause she holds him down every time he hit her up, When he get right he promise that they gonna live it up…” OK, Real Talk!!! It’s both parties responsibility to make sure that their sexuality is healthy and accessible to each other. But ladies I’m going to leave it right here by saying “Be delicious for him.”
6. She maintains a reserve.
I’ll be the first to say I adore some of the pics women share on social media but ladies you must maintain a certain privacy, especially if your in a quality relationship with him. Not a sly withholding or secretiveness, but an aura of dignity. Don’t air every thought, emotion, and pose that comes into your head on Instagram. Your man wants to know it would take a 100 years to unravel you, and that’s because you have maintained a reserve for yourself… AND HIM! You must be committed to your own borders of Self for the rest of your life if you want to be a future wife.
At the end of the day, you know what you can handle. Love has a funny way of overwriting any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your search easier when you go to God. No one’s perfect. Even with this list, remember you have the responsibility to protect and guide your heart. Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged.
Resolve to lead with your heart and make it through to the end for a quality future soulmate. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do. May God bless you as you begin to search for your future mate or rekindle with your current one in 2016 and beyond.
With much love and respect,
Ramel is the author of #DearFutureWife
Connect with him on Twitter @ItsRamel.
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