We Perpetuate Our Own Negative Stereotypes
I recently had the opportunity to sit on a relationship panel. Unfortunately, it was a complete circus! One female panelist came across as the lead motivational speaker at a THOT convention and another panelist was visibly inebriated beyond reason.
While none of us are perfect, I believe the popular consensus for most is that the blind shouldn’t lead the blind!
Perhaps I should’ve sought a better understanding of what was taking place prior to accepting the invitation. If I had known the panelist equated “keeping it real” with a lack of vocabulary and the inability to express oneself without constant cursing and yelling, I would’ve kept my behind at home as the drunk panelist later suggested.
All night I listened to them yak like hyenas while publically castrating men. They flipped their weaves, rolled their necks, talked over one another and told the same old “men aren’t shit” stories that we’ve all heard a thousand times.
One even hurled insults at attendees for using what she considered big words.
They came across like they had little to nothing of substance to offer any man, yet questioned what he could bring to the table. I personally believe intelligent men with any value and class desire women that don’t always complete their expressed thought with “Aaaayyee”! Black women continue to play into the negative stereotypes but wonder why they still exist.
I, on the other hand, chose to dress like I felt honored to be there. I made a wise decision not to get drunk before speaking. I also chose to express myself as if I had actually made it past the 8th grade.
I was later accused of acting as if I thought I was going to the library or a church meeting although I am always very open, honest and known for keeping it Naked. Who knew that I would be ridiculed simply because I know how to complete a sentence that’s not dripping with slang and double negatives?
The only way for us to change the stereotypes that we claim to hate, is to stop playing into them.
Keeping it real is simply being open, honest and sharing your experience whether it’s good, bad or ugly. However many have turned “keeping it real,” into keeping it real ignorant, keeping it real ghetto and keeping it real stank!
If we women continue to display these negative characteristics, we shouldn’t wonder why society doesn’t take us seriously and men continue to dishonor us. If we desire more, we should require more starting with what we require from ourselves. Contrary to popular belief, it IS possible to express yourself genuinely WITHOUT looking like you’re auditioning for Love and Hip Hop!
We ARE what we attract. If we KEEP attracting what we define as “sorry” men, we may want to take a closer look in the mirror.
About Shemeka Michelle: “I was that chick. Gave it all up, all of it. I put all my eggs in one basket. Didn’t have a plan B ‘cause I believed in plan A. Then one day, all of it came to an end. All I could do was take it. I’m a survivor with 3 kids I HAD to make it! So instead of dying from pain and hiding in shame, I’ve decided to get NAKED.” www.nakedgirlzblog.com
About Shemeka Michelle: “I was that chick. Gave it all up, all of it. I put all my eggs in one basket. Didn’t have a plan B ‘cause I believed in plan A. Then one day, all of it came to an end. All I could do was take it. I’m a survivor with three kids I HAD to make it! So instead of dying from pain and hiding in shame, I’ve decided to get NAKED.” www.nakedgirlzblog.com
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