Super mothers are NOT fathers.
I Didn’t Wish My Single Mother “Happy Father’s Day”! Here’s why….
Prior to Father’s Day, there was some debate about whether or not single moms should be honored. Greeting card companies in recent years have even designed cards that read “To my mom on Father’s Day.”
While many have bought into this misnomer, I think it perpetuates dysfunction. This is especially true in the black community which leads in the percentage of children in single parent families.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that women feel like they can fill both roles. Although there are many women that raise children without the help of a father, studies show that they can’t completely fill that void.
I have no problem with children that want to celebrate this day with their single mom to acknowledge the extra effort.
However I disagree that the holiday should be reconstructed on a grand scale to include women. I always wished my mom a Happy Father’s Day until this year. I worried that because I decided not to, she would feel slighted or think that it somehow undermined all that she did.
My mother did, in fact, raise me without a father but this wasn’t because she had poor choice in men. My mother was actually raped by a stranger at the age of fourteen. I am the product of that rape.
Although the odds were against her, she persevered. She didn’t leave my grandmother, another relative or the child welfare system with the responsibility of raising me. I clearly remember her taking an active role in my life. She kept me involved in activities such as baton, dance, gymnastics and drama. I could also ALWAYS count on her to be there to watch me do them all.
Although my mom had to overcompensate, this did not make her a father.
I can no longer pretend like absent fathers isn’t an epidemic especially in my community. Although raising a child alone is a reality for many women, I can’t participate in the glib insinuation that this norm is okay, accepted or should be celebrated.
My mom has been a phenomenal woman but in my opinion this falls short of fatherhood.
In actuality, what she has been is an excellent example of a great mom and the grandmother I hope to be. The sacrifices she made for me, although she was so young, are priceless. I will forever be grateful and I still hold her as a role model to gauge my own accomplishments as a mom.
Many of us believe that we have Supermoms.
I applaud my mom and countless women for a job well done. However, I don’t believe we should take away from the many dads that do an amazing job with their children year after year.
Whether a child has one mom or two, they should be honored on Mother’s Day and let the dads have their own day. I know the world is evolving but some things should just remain the same.
As the old saying goes “If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it!”
The real effort should go into solving the absent parent problem!
About Shemeka Michelle: “I was that chick. Gave it all up, all of it. I put all my eggs in one basket. Didn’t have a plan B ‘cause I believed in plan A. Then one day, all of it came to an end. All I could do was take it. I’m a survivor with 3 kids I HAD to make it! So instead of dying from pain and hiding in shame, I’ve decided to get NAKED.” www.nakedgirlzblog.com
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