By A Comeaux
I’ll write my own disclaimer. I’ll tell the ugly of my truths before I ever highlight that of others, especially my sisters. We need work. We need a sincere dose of honesty that begins first with self, so we can better articulate our wounds to others. Here’s where I’m going with this: I’ve learned there are things a Black woman simply won’t talk about. Until now…
The 3 Things Black Women Won’t Say
We teach our children to apologize to a friend when they’re not sharing. Why did we grow as adults to never apologize when we’ve wronged another? Entitlement. Somewhere we found justification in our ill attitudes and left the world to ‘deal’. It’s liberating to apologize. It’s an act of maturity and humility to acknowledge an offense and remove the burden of disdain from those we hurt.
I Need Help
Women walk around in the best shoes, carrying the heaviest burdens under the most expensive weaves. Managing life, love, loss, work, lack, kids, bills, this, that & them too! But ever so seldom do we ask for a hand.
We pose in pictures and smile for our ‘frenemies’ all the while bleeding inside. We’re guarded and feel we can’t trust anyone with our shortcomings. If you truly feel you can’t ask a sister for a helping hand, you need to take an honest evaluation of those who are in your life.
I’m Bitter / Broken / I’m Not Whole
I’ll give a personal account here. I thought I was invincible. My last lover came in like a summer’s breeze kissing my hair in the wind and left like a winter’s storm. They tore a new hole in my heart and dented my ambition for love. So I stayed single for long enough to forget what it all felt like. Then came my shot at the bat again. This is where my insecurities surfaced. My distrust and lack of healthy communication ruined my new chance at love. I was bitter and couldn’t be honest and say I wasn’t ready for love because I didn’t want to be lonely. I was still angry. I was still collecting pieces from when my life was shattered. To this day I wish I’d just said I wasn’t whole for a relationship. Maybe I would have kept a friend.
This isn’t an attack. This is an admission that we still need work. We post to IG the glories of our lives when we’re simply perpetuating a lie we so desperately want to be true.
We rant on FB as if we have life and love figured out when we’re really clueless. Not asking for help, not admitting you’re wrong or that you’re not ready for a relationship are signs we’re not being true to US. It shows we’re not growing.
I’m seeking a higher level of spiritual understanding. Elevation on all levels of life, love, abundance and health. All things inner, I’m focusing on me, God and the Universe to conspire for my good and the solidification of my future. To walk in which I’m ordained.
I’m A Comeaux . I’m a Black Woman. & I’m just now saying these things myself. #progress
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke
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