Why Black Men Won't Marry Black Women

Why Black Men Won't Marry Black Women
Photo: AP Photographie via Photopin/Creative Commons.

By Shemeka Michelle

Black women are controlling, argumentative, mean and they wear fake hair. Dating a non-black woman is less stressful and non-black women are better teammates who are an all-around better option. These are just a few of the reasons listed on a recent post stating why black men would rather be with non-black women. This was posted along with the question “what are your thoughts?”

Initially, I answered with a simple “This doesn’t bother me at all as I would never want a weak black man who chooses a non-black woman just for these reasons. If he likes it, I love it”. After several women and men responded with similar sentiments, it was my post that struck a nerve! Although my original comment supported why I felt this made him weak, one black man in particular could not understand where I was coming from as he agreed with the post and thought my opinion should be up for debate.

Let me be clear, I am NOT against interracial relationships. I truly believe that the heart loves who it loves and that should never be defined by color. I am however against the general stereotyping of a class of people, particularly the class that I’m associated with. I will admit that I am an opinionated black woman. However, I don’t believe this classifies me as angry. It means that I paid attention long enough in English class to be able to express myself with words, leaving no question to what side of the fence I stand on in any given topic. If my vocabulary was limited, I would then be pegged as an uneducated ghetto mess. I have quick wit and I’m rarely at a loss for words but I am not mean or angry. I believed and still believe that any man that chooses a woman simply based on her nationality due to stereotypes is weak!!

I am bothered by the apologies that black women have to make on a regular basis just for being black. We are the only group of women who are degraded for speaking our truth whatever it may be. Also, after decades of being demoralized for having large butts and full lips, women of other nationalities are epitomized for having the same qualities (although their ASSets have been bought more often than not). We’re scoffed at for wearing weaves then scoffed at if we choose to wear our natural hair. It makes me shake my head when I hear such negative comments about black women coming from black men. These are the same black men that we continue to stand by and support although they will throw us under the bus at any given moment.

No other race of women has endured the plight of the beautiful black queen. Yet we continue to have classes of women pit against us as we struggle to try and remain relevant. I am tired of us having to justify ourselves, fight to be seen as beautiful (especially if our skin is darker) or asked to just shut up and be quiet to keep from being seen as argumentative. Yes there are angry black women but frankly, ANY woman can become bitter and angry.

Now, if speaking out about this makes me an angry black woman then I will wear the title proudly because I will not turn a blind eye to my sisters or any other woman. Obviously racism still exists and we are yet to arrive but, I still hold out hope that one day we all will be judged by the content of our character; ESPECIALLY black women by our own black men!

Follow the conversation on Twitter @TheNakedGirlz

Follow the conversation on Twitter @TheNakedGirlz

About Shemeka Michelle: “I was that chick. Gave it all up, all of it. I put all my eggs in one basket. Didn’t have a plan B ‘cause I believed in plan A. Then one day, all of it came to an end. All I could do was take it. I’m a survivor with 3 kids I HAD to make it! So instead of dying from pain and hiding in shame, I’ve decided to get NAKED.” www.nakedgirlzblog.com

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