Chasing the Old Flame: Anatomy of Online Infidelity

Chasing the Old Flame: Anatomy of Online Infidelity
Posed by professional model.

Technology allows people to reconnect and to share intimate parts of their lives like never before. Online infidelity is on the rise.

An individual may have loved someone in college and thanks to technology, he can now exchange banter with that ex-lover.

He might consider such exchanges to be innocent, but in reality, he is tempting himself by reigniting moments of mysteries, memories, and feelings.

Initially, he may take solace in that the online love is not a complete abandonment of his in-the-flesh relationship, but with texts, and private messages, he is indeed breaking his contract with his partner.

Today with Skype, he can close the door, turn on his computer, and show all kinds of things that couldn’t be shown, or shared, and it’s just as instant as if both parties were present.

Although both parties are not present, the smiles and the sounds are just as intimate, and can create sensations, or senses that are well beyond what is understood in the context of having a relationship with someone else.

After a few texts and emails, the soul tie with the old flame is reinforced. The relationship between him and the online old flame continues to create a world of love that exists in a bubble some place above their heads, with the idea that spiritually, they’re now connected like never before.

Of course, online words are not always conveyed in honest principles or truths, because he is now married or involved. Or perhaps the old flame is no longer the wide-eyed romantic that she used to be.

Physical, romantic, and sexual history has less meaning for some than it does for others. Obviously this leads to predators who participate in shenanigans, and false love, in order to break hearts for sport, with the understanding that, “you gave yourself to me; you invited me in.”

Over time, some adults avoid serious relationships; they are financially independent and don’t require marriage for survival. Instead, these adults prefer to jump each other off; they do what feels good, and they don’t worry about it. But they may say anything to convince you otherwise.

Such motives are routinely exposed after the deed is done.

All people, from a quantum phenomenon, are now feeling the tethering of souls at an alarming rate because the quintessential idea of Twitter, or Facebook, removes the feeling of loneliness.

Think about it; if you have insomnia, you don’t have to be alone, you can immediately check into a world that is open 24-7 for your consumption, and whatever personality you push forward would be accepted online.

Some people are lonely, so they will go online and find a romantic interest just by having a conversation; or they can post, “today I’m having a rough day,” and twenty people can comment, “you’re not alone, I’m here.”

Social networks also allow for a consummation of a relationship of some type, within a context of invisibility, and yet there’s a face, there are words, and there are past experiences. You are now connected to this instant love, affection, and communication, from afar.

Technology is a double-edged sword; online secrets come to light because truth, or lies by omission, are clearer, as today’s tech system allows people to monitor, and to discover things that were once unknown.

The in-the-flesh relationship struggles because people don’t constantly evaluate or reevaluate their relationship as they grow, so it’s easy to grow apart.

And people don’t share all of their expectations; instead, they make assumptions.

The in-the-flesh lover has an expectation that he knows how she feels, to the point where he wouldn’t want to reignite a relationship. And yet his aspirations for their relationship are not being met, and he doesn’t share it.

Only when the relationship either disintegrates or hits a wall, will he ask his in-the-flesh partner, “what do you want from me?” And, she will respond, “well, what you want from me?”

They both may share what they want, but those expectations haven’t been vocalized in a year or so, and this time around, they don’t ignite the same romantic feelings.

And he’s left to wonder, was the online old flame worth it?

Nobody looks or feels how they looked in college, but everybody is willing to at least have a sample of the idea. Be mindful, when you venture back down memory lane–yes, even if it’s just online–you can derail your present relationship.

Cherish the real thing.

Mr. Munson Steed.

Publisher, entrepreneur and artist.

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