My darling innocent ones,
You only know me as Mommy, and I hope that is the only way you will ever know me.
But someday you will ask me why I call myself an addict and what does that mean, anyway? Being an addict means that mommy used to be very sick, and today I am better. I have made the choice to choose recovery today, and I will work as hard as I can to make that choice every day.
I hope you can understand that mommy isn’t bad, or immoral but I’m still a little different from some of your friend’s mommies.
Maybe someday you will decide, on your own, to learn about my disease of addiction.
If that day comes, please do not take to heart that sometimes this disease has genetic components. You do not have to brand yourself as the child of an addict; you do not have to go through life with a cloud of doom over your precious heads. I will never assume my mistakes will become your mistakes, and I will stay vigilant for you.
I will use what I’ve learned in recovery to show you that you never have to alter your state of mind with chemicals to feel funny, brave, or beautiful.
The stigma of being an addict will never fall on you, at least not from me.
My children, I didn’t know it at the time, but I got clean so that I could be your mommy. You are the greatest gift I’ve been given, and I will fight to keep you safe.
Even from me.
Rachel Trimble–a grateful recovering mother–is a friend, a woman, and a lover all because she has been set free from the chains of addiction through recovery and love.
Follow Rachel on Twitter @RachelTrm
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