THAT DREADFUL DAY
By Kym B.
I don’t know about you, but the day I found out my daughter was having sex with her boyfriend was devastating to me. I was heartbroken. And, I’m not sure why it affected me as much. She was in her early 20s and in college. Nevertheless the mixed emotions I felt was overwhelming.
As much as I believed that she would inform me about her desires to become sexually active prior to the actual act; it never happened. The young man informed me before my own child. I should have been happy because he was taking responsibility and wanted to ensure that they were both protected; however, I’m pretty sure she didn’t fully understand that no amount of protection from pregnancy and STDs can protect her from the emotional impact of sharing her body with someone else.
I didn’t want to flip out! I wanted her to be able to talk to me one-on-one.
After a very LONG conversation –I took in a long breath…..let out a long sigh…and I flipped out!
It was as if every emotion suppressed throughout that very calm conversation roared once it seemed that the coast was clear! Once the dust settled, I realized it wasn’t about her – it was about me.
This incident disclosed a thorn in this pretty little façade of a family that I tried to present.
Oh, I never dangled my children’s honor grades or good manners in the faces of others; but, yes, I would secretly shake my head when I would hear news about a family or friends’ child’s antics. But NOT my child. There was no way that my children would ever act up. They knew better. There was no way that my child–my daughter– my firstborn, would step into such an act before marriage.
Not from this generational “good Christian” family. I had a plan–and this was not it.
The day I learned that my daughter was having sex was both devastating – and, in a way, freeing for me because I realized that I had a plan as a mother, but this is her life and her life only. I can be there to warn, assist and love, but not to live.
A hard lesson that, day by day, I’m still learning.
Kym B. is an International Policy Analyst for the US Department of State and she owns a clothing design boutique with her daughter. Follow her on Twitter @AlwaysRich777
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