Single and Loving It!

By Shanti Ray

Basking in My Singleness: Do You See My Glow?

Have you ever been too tired to keep your eyes open for just a minute longer because your most recent break-up felt like the world had swallowed you whole, chewed you up and spat you out lonely and powerless?

Don’t sulk around in your own self-pity, beat yourself up, or question your self-worth because you’re single.

I’ll tell you from experience that jumping back on the dating scene after a break-up isn’t easy.

In fact meeting a guy, getting to know him and determining if we vibe long enough to consider a relationship feels like homework in itself, and that’s an assignment that I’m not ready to commit to at this point in my life.

So I decided to take some time to reacquaint myself with myself. Yep, you heard me right. Looking back at my past relationships the common denominator in all of them was me. And I’m not the type of person to start pointing fingers externally, I did an internal observation and boy it wasn’t pretty.

I took a self-inventory, and wrote all the things that I believe I did wrong or, situations where I fell short. I placed the in my bible, the one place where I know my shortcomings will be safe as I work on them.

Well in the midst of my self-assignment, I decided to attend a two-night singles conference hosted by the singles ministry at my church. The guest speaker was Dr. Irishea Hillard who delivered a powerful message that caused me to step back and really look at my situation.

In that moment I was right where I needed to be and I had just experienced an AHA high that was long overdue.

All this time I was fixated on the wrong things – my past. Never once did I stop to think about the changes that I had made; my relationship with the creator and what He has planned for me.

The answer was right there, in my Bible—sitting across from me at my table for one—and I didn’t even recognize it until that moment.

Now I embrace my singleness proudly and know that when He feels the time is right the right situation will present itself.

Are you basking in your singleness? I Am.

Shanti Ray, Director of the Six Brown Chicks Book Club, is an entrepreneur, and community service advocate who holds an MBA. Shanti is currently working on her first novel check out her latest work at: 

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