My heart goes out to the family of the murdered 5-month-old Zion baby, Joshua Summeries.
Momma, baby. Poppa? Maybe.
It’s an old wives’ saying that served for many as a warning to young women: Your baby is your business, your priority, your responsibility, because the father of your child may or may not be around to help you.
This isn’t male-bashing, it’s the awful truth. Life has no guarantees of a two-parent household; death happens; divorce happens; a man can become disillusioned with his woman and abandon his child; that same man may salve his guilty conscious by being the perfect dad for another man’s child.
And so it goes.
Never mind the circumstance the mother is expected to teach, nourish, and nurture her child. This is a daunting task, I know, and I am not a mother. I am an aunt, I was a kindergarten teacher, and I can only imagine the mother’s struggle of finding a babysitter, of providing a healthy environment, of putting her life on the backburner while figuring out what’s best for her child.
With limited opportunities and resources, feeding your child, keeping a roof over your child’s head is a priority; finding the reliable babysitter that won’t do monstrous things to your child, should also be a priority. This is difficult if the child is an infant or a toddler that cannot communicate effectively that someone is hurting him or her.
This is where the Mother Love needs to put on her detective’s hat and investigate her child. Look for strange marks on your child when you pick him/her up from the babysitter. Does your child respond in a negative manner when the child sees the adult babysitter? Does your child experience an unusual amount of accidents/bumps/scrapes while under the care of the babysitter? Watch who you bring into your child’s life. Every lover does not need to spend time with your child.
6 Questions to Ask Before Allowing Your Boyfriend to Babysit
1. Does your boyfriend show resentment/jealousy about the amount of time you spend with your child?
2. The child will cry to communicate a need; does that boyfriend have the patience to meet the child’s need without becoming aggressive?
3. Would the boyfriend change diapers? Would he become enraged if the child accidentally soiled himself?
4. Would the boyfriend coddle the child if the child is sad or worried?
5. Would the boyfriend understand and tolerate a child’s playfulness and inquisitive nature?
6. Does the boyfriend have a history of violence?
Finally, use your gut. If you have a sick feeling about leaving your child alone with the boyfriend, then don’t–in the worst case scenario, your child may pay the ultimate price.
Rest in peace baby Joshua.
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