Dawgelene “Dr Dawj” Sangster- The past 14 New Year eves and days have been spent with my late husband, James Sangster. While I knew many of those times he was working the streets as a Chicago Police officer, I would anticipate hearing his car pull in the driveway around 5A.M. on New Years Day, after a late night of patrolling the city. Most of the time he would call/text just after midnight on January 1st to wish me a Happy New Year and tell me he loved me, but I would be restless all night until I heard his car pull in the driveway. It was something about knowing my man was home and safe with me that sent chills running up and down my spine.
Our last New Years Eve together was spent with me watching him sleep from being so tired from the Chemo treatments and medicine he was taking. I was just happy to have him alive and with me as we rang in 2012 together. I dreaded New Years Eve for 2013 because there was no him. While he was with me in spirit, I knew that we would not cross into another year with me physically.
As I sat in my living room the eve of 2013, my heart ached for the man that I had shared 14 New Years eves with. I thought about how I would have been watching him get dressed to hit the streets and reminding him to eat, and wear his vest for protection. I would hug him so tight before he left because I wasn’t sure if I would see him again, so I wanted to hold him and not let him go.
This time, I sat there and looked at his smile on a beautiful picture. So how did I ring in 2013 as a widow? I decided to ring in the New Year with his picture and our sweet memories.
I spent some time with my grand daughter Kennedi and then danced into 2013 with my husband’s picture, a prayer to God for helping me to make it over, a prayer for my son in Afghanistan, a prayer for my family and friends, and a prayer for people in the world. I then went to sleep.
I thank God everyday for giving me strength to go into each day without my husband here, but also for going into each day with faith, joy and the strength of an army of Angels watching over me.
Filed under: Achievement, Change, Dr. Dawj, Embrace Change, Family, Girl Power, Girlfriends, Marriage, New Year, Overcoming the Odds, Prayer, Relationships, Self worth, Six Brown Chicks, Think Royally, Widow