A Widow's First Christmas

A Widow’s first Christmas

By Dr. Dawj


During the holiday season, many people are scurried about and purchased gifts that plunged them into debt by the thousands. They bought these gifts to  satisfy many that probably don’t appreciate them anyway.

I used to be one of those shoppers spending and getting into debt once a year, until I married James.

James was older, conservative and a militant type of guy. While he loved the pretty colors of Christmas, he was NOT into spending money on gifts.

He purchased a few gifts early on in our marriage, but that quickly changed! It took a long time to get used to that mentality during the course of our 13-year marriage, and I don’t think the kids ever got used to it. The kids would complain about him being mean, etc, but I knew that he just did not feel that Christmas was about getting into debt.

James came from very humble beginnings with 10 siblings, so he just did not care much for splurging on tons of gifts, except his camera equipment.

My family, on the other hand, spent loads of money each year during Christmas and most times it was money that we didn’t have, just to buy that cool new toy or jacket.

As I had children, I wanted to change the tradition so I asked the children to make a list of items that they wanted and I would choose from that list (the number of items that I permitted decreased as the children became older of course!)

I would also give them money or tell them we would go after Christmas and buy things. While they gradually began to understand the method to my madness, my family did not and scrutinized me for not “sticking with the traditional way of thinking.”

I now understand that Christmas has a deeper meaning on a spiritual level with Jesus, than money can ever buy.





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  • Happy New Year all.....this was truly a beautiful message - I have NOT recently lost a loved one but I was so deeply touched by this message. I was not only inspired but convinced that how I celebrate Christmas is NOT at all bad....I also do not believe it is necessary to go into debt to experience JOY during the Holiday Season.... A relationship I thought was good for me ended at the beginning of October and I truly thought it was the loss of something good (negative) it was actually a good thing. As the Holidays approached I was reminded that Christmas is about God's love, giving, sharing, caring, peace, joy and so many other beautiful things that cost NOTHING!! Dr. Dawj I am praying with you and for you and I wish you peace, joy and beautiful memories during this Holiday Season....and I must say again... I Love you Beautiful Six Brown Chicks. When you all shared your hearts and minds with Iyanla and allowed us to be a part of it - it changed my life - and I am so much better for it!!!

  • In reply to L Mona’:

    Thank you so much L Mona'!

    It was different for me, but I am thankful that God helped me get through it and focus on the amazing husband I had, and not the fact that he wasn't here for this past Christmas. Blessings to you my love!

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