By Yolanda Yanni Brown
I was excited to start my new year! I have big dreams, big plans and not a moment to waste. However, to be honest, this past week I’ve been disconnected, distracted and frustrated.
Sunday was the worst.
I slipped into the pitiful state of “woe is me” and the anger and frustration began.
I know what you’re thinking, “not Miss Making Love Better TwoGether,” because I always have something to say to brighten someone’s day.
Well over the course of these past two days I just didn’t have it in me. I was on empty and my love tank was on empty.
It all started Sunday, I didn’t go to church and that is where I will say the disconnection began.
I had to get my car repaired and the only day that it could be done was Sunday. So that meant that I would miss Sunday service. Now I don’t know about you, but where I go to worship, service is on fire each Sunday. There I can refuel, reconnect and pull myself twogether for the week.
Pastor Stowers has a way of connecting his members and giving us real and relevant information. Needless to say, I was missed that and I left a crack open for negativity to creep in and it was not pretty.
Fast forward to later that day, all I could see was what I wasn’t getting, who was getting, why me, why not me, when will I get ahead. Geesh! it is one thing after another ugh. I was really there ya’ll. Has this ever happened to you? It wasn’t until about 9pm that I was able to shake this negative outfit off of me.
So I had to look back at the day to see what happened!
I couldn’t see what I thought that I should see!
My realization at 9 p.m. was that HE sees further than I ever could and while I was looking at the negativity of my immediate situation He was working on my tomorrow.
I couldn’t see that my car was being repaired for FREE. I couldn’t see that my daughter’s books were being paid for by a good friend of mine, I couldn’t see that we didn’t have to pay a $250.00 deposit, I couldn’t see that Jennifer Holiday sent me an email to ask me a relationship question for her new song or that I’m being asked to come back to Atlanta to the Heritage Ball 2012 to facilitate two relationship panels. I couldn’t see any of that because for a moment I was disconnected, distracted and frustrated.
It wasn’t until I heard Joel Osteen say “When you are passionate about who you are, that brings honor to God,” that it hit me!
BE PASSIONATE! ALL OF THE TIME! Even on someone else’s time.
For a moment I forgot that it’s not about me because I’m human and in reality I wanted it to be.
I was feeling some kind of way and wanted someone to come to my rescue. REALITY CHECK! He’s been there all of the time…. So I put on my inspirational songs of choice and let it flow until my cup was filled back up. In this case it was “Hello Fear” and “I AM” by Kirk Franklin.
Out that I was inspired and wrote:
I’m not ignoring you, I’m trying to hear what’s best for me, what’s next for me, experience God’s presence and what He expects of me.
I can’t hear if I’m always connected, tuned in, plugged in and online.
Sometimes I have to disconnect, tune out and unplug just to re-align, reconnect, tune in and plug in to my vertical connection; my place where I get my spiritual connection!
Give back, empty my cup and give myself away so that I can give what I give each and every day. So if you don’t hear from me it’s not personal! I’m personally working with HIM to create the best me! That means that sometimes I have to shut up so that I can see!
With love and understanding,