By Yolanda “Yanni” Brown
Has this ever happened to you? You meet someone and feel instant sparks. A chemistry that is almost toxic. You find that you want to spend every moment together. Things are clicking on all cylinders and the sexual energy is irresistible. You haven’t known each other long, but you want to take the plunge. Why wait, right?
Well . . . there is a reason why you should take your time and wait. Here’s why: have you ever rushed to meet someone, rushed to fall in love, rush to make what you thought was love only to discover that you really don’t like this person that you’ve fallen in love with?
You could find that don’t have anything in common with the person that you’ve fallen in love with, or you’ve fallen for someone that doesn’t share your values or goals. But you love them, right? Or, maybe you forgot to have the conversation that defined what you were doing because you didn’t want to rock the boat, so you assumed that you are in a relationship and he assumes that you are having relations.
It has been argued that women can/cannot engage in a long term sexual intimate relationship without become attached. Some can, some cannot that’s not what’s in question.
What I love about my mother is that she gives me the greatest advice. She once said to me that a man can get up, wash the woman off of him and keep it moving. But a woman takes in the deposit and carries it with her. Whether it’s mentally, physically or emotionally she carries him.
Some people have 90-day rules, some have six-month rules. Others wait longer. Whatever your rule is, remember what the WAIT is for! Wait, because it takes quality time to really get to know someone. Wait, because you are worth more than just a booty call. Wait, to avoid living life with too many regrets. Wait, because you deserve to know what you are getting. Wait, because he deserves the best of you and you deserve the best of him. If we are so quick to give our best away to everything that looks like love, we will be worn out and won’t recognize real love when it darts our doorstep.
We are often blinded by the excitement of love and find ourselves willing to do almost anything to keep that loving feeling. Waiting allows you to take the time to see the person for who they are and not who you want them to be! Waiting allows you to see if he is the man that you need for him to be! Waiting allows him to show you who he is rather than him telling you who he is. Waiting allows you to experience relationship seasons with a person to see if you want to experience more. Waiting allows you to establish the foundation that is required to enjoy a long lasting relationship. Waiting says that you want what’s best for you and your family.
Nobody wants to be alone. At least I hope not. I think that we just want our fair share of what is right but don’t always know how to get it. Take your time to find it! Find it your way at your pace because you are SO worth the wait!