Momma, Baby. Poppa? Maybe! Thoughts on Fatherhood

Momma, Baby. Poppa? Maybe! Thoughts on Fatherhood
By Yolanda (Yanni) Brown


Photo: Miguel Cabello

If you are a great father doing all that you can as a dad this message is NOT for you….

Fathers WE need you!
Somewhere between burning our bras and INDEPENDENCE we somehow gave the impression that OUR MEN were no longer needed other than to donate their precious sperm.
In our failure to hold them accountable, they felt that is was okay for them to be even less accountable.

Regardless if you are married, a couple or co-parenting WE need you! We need for you to step an BE the fathers that our children need.  Whether we are getting along or not, WE need you! WE need for you to be ACTIVELY involved. It doesn’t matter if your child was unplanned, it doesn’t matter if you feel entrapped because you “didn’t ask to be a father;” it doesn’t matter if we say we can’t stand you, WE still need you! 
Yes, it takes money to raise a child and child support is needed, but in the grand scheme of things, there is an even bigger picture to be considered… WE need you! WE need for you to step up and show our daughters what a real man is, and how he should treat his daughter.
WE need you to step up and be men so that our young men will grow up and be productive in society, and one day marry and will also know how to treat a woman.
WE need for you to take the time to spend the time because at the end of the day, the children don’t care how much money you have or don’t have; they just want your time.
Children don’t see your faults, or that mom and dad couldn’t work it out, all children understand is that YOU are either there or you are not!
Look around you–what you are seeing now with teen violence, teen homelessness, teen pregnancies, and low self-esteem  is a direct result of US NOT doing what we are supposed to do to ensure that our children have the best opportunities available to them.
What happened to the fight in us when it comes to our children? What happened to, “by any means necessary,” when it comes to being there for them?  Are we to deny OUR children the pleasure of their hopes and dreams just because WE choose to be selfish and/or place blame on one another?
My mom used to say “Momma’s Baby, Daddy’s Maybe,” and I didn’t understand until I had children of my own.
What that means is that if the mother has a child, most likely the responsibility of that child falls on her and her alone. Most moms who are in it to win it will forego what they want and need to make sure that their children have some of what they want and all of what they need, by any means necessary.
My only question is… Why should they have to do it alone?  WE are tired of being BROKEN and it has to stop somewhere if WE ever plan on Making Love Better TwoGether. Because WE are broken, WE have become desensitized to Broken promises, Broken dreams, Broken Lies or Broken Hopes but through all of that WE still need you, to prove US wrong and SAVE OUR CHILDREN. 
Give them a life BETTER than the one that we had, through spending Quality Time, Being Financially Responsible and by BEING THERE by ANY MEANS NECESSARY! We are now seeing the damage of NOT having both parents.
Let’s see what we can do change that.  

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