Twas the Week Before Christmas in 2016.
(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
Twas the week before Christmas, when all through Chicago,
Nary a creature was stirring, not even a RAT,
Long ago, Mayor Emanuel had taken care of that.
I’d traveled many miles for one special reason,
To see for myself what was happening to this Season.
The official holiday tree was all a twitter with lights of LED.
But the streets were dark and empty with the exception of me.
The stores were brimming with holiday fare,
While St. Nicholas sat alone in his chair.
From Long Grove and Oak Park to Elgin, I traveled,
Trying to get this mystery unraveled.
Then back to the city I flew like a flash.
For Bucktown and Wrigleyville, I made a mad dash.
But, the pubs, they were empty, just like the stores.
They may have just as well locked all their doors.
Then as my fears arose in my head,
I discovered that I had nothing to dread.
No noses were freezing as the snow fluttered down.
The entire city, I found, was at home, safe and sound.
As I peered in a window of a house down the street,
I was treated to prancing and dancing of children’s small feet.
With mama at her at her laptop and dad at his ipad,
I soon learned there were no worries to be had.
With a click here and there, they went straight to their work.
And fill’d all the orders, then turned with a jerk.
The bargains were plenty, the shipping was free.
The packages arrived at the door along with the tree.
Their purchases were made in an instant without any tax…now all they needed to do was relax.
Santa was skyped and the family was happy.
As they settled their brains for a long winter nappy.
But I heard them exclaim ere I rode out of sight, “On! Amazon, On! eBay, On! Shopping.com, Merry Christmas to you and to all a good night.”