Hearing people sometimes say crazy things to deaf people, especially deaf people who have some hearing or wear hearing aids. Here’s a list of the ones I can remember–and I will add more as I hear more. And please, please, share your own “Shit hearing people say” story in the comments! I will make another post with the best of comments.
Can you drive?
Is that playdoh in your ear?
My brother, muttering under his breath when he was ~5 and mad at me about something: “You and your high tech ears!”
Scene: Someplace with background noise
Me: Can you say that again, please?
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.
Person: Never mind, it wasn’t important.
If you wanted to tell me something, it was important! Otherwise it makes me feel unimportant.
Scene: the quiet zone in a library
Person: [whispers something I can’t hear]
Me: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Could you tell me when we’re back in the lobby?
Person looks confused: [whispers again expecting me to hear it this time]
Me: You’re too quiet–can you tell me when we’re back in the lobby?
Person while motioning to the patrons : Shhh!
We walk back to the lobby, then person whispers again: [indistinct]
Me: You can tell me in the lobby so I can hear you.
We finally make it to the lobby, and person doesn’t repeat the sentences.
Me: I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you in there–can you tell me now?
Person does repeat it. I finally can hear it.
Was that so hard to wait? It only took a minute to walk to the lobby…
Professor, in advance of a midterm: Do you need extra time on the test?
No, I’m just deaf. My brain works just fine.
Scene: boarding a plane
Me to flight attendant: Just so you know, I’m hard of hearing
Flight attendant digs around in the cabinet, and procures a braille magazine with a smile.
Me: Thanks! But I’m deaf…
She processed that for a moment, and then we all burst out laughing.
Got more? Please comment! Or if you want to be anonymous, please send an email to runningwithabookcart (at) gmail (dot) com. I’ll gather them up and make another post out of them.
Filed under: deaf