A second chance to begin again

I don’t have many regrets in life. But there are so many things in my past that, for some reason or another, I gave up on. Allowed them to fall to the wayside. Or completely out of my life all together.

Nothing monumental, of course. I didn’t have world domination and hopes of becoming royalty on my to-do list.

Just small things. Silly things, really. But if given the chance to do them again, I totally would.

*Dancing ~ As a kid, my mom had me enrolled in every dance class possible. Tap, jazz, ballet. Years and years of each. Schedules so crazy that eventually I began to resent all of them. The ironic thing is, as a teen, you couldn’t get me out of the underage dance clubs in my town. In my 20’s, you would find me and my BFF shaking our ass at our favorite club in the ‘burbs, dancing with pretty boys and breaking hearts. In my 30’s, my dancing was limited to dancing around my house, with two babies in my arms. Now in my 40’s, I dance in my kitchen while cooking for those two (now much bigger) babies, hoping that my neighbors wouldn’t see me through the window. I sometimes wonder where I would be if I stuck with all those classes. I coulda been good. I coulda been a true dancer.

*Sailing ~ Spending summers in a small town in Michigan, my parents were very active at the local yacht club. It was there that my mom encouraged me to take sailing lessons. I inhaled every detail, mastered every knot, and could rig a boat in record time. And being on my boat, all alone, was such a peaceful moment. Being a Pieces I’ve always been drawn to water. I thrived around it. Still do. But again, being a stupid kid, I gave it up. If I stuck with it, who knows where I’d be today. Perhaps have a boat of my own? Traveled on multiple bodies of water around the world? Shared the joy of sailing with my kids? Hey, I’m only 45…maybe this old dog could re-learn her old tricks.

*Friends ~ Those friends who were so close they became family, yet eventually the relationships unraveled on such a monumental level that I still, to this day, can’t see straight nor make sense of any of it. People come in, they go out…some stay, most leave. It all has a purpose, right? But there is always that ‘what if’ hanging in the back of my head like a black cloud. Like that sore on the side of your mouth. It bugs the shit out of you, but you can’t help keep tonguing it.

*That boy ~ The one you kissed. The one you loved. The one you made plans with. The one you shared your soul with. The one that walked away. And you just stood there, watching him leave. Ugh. Yea. That.

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