So as I’m sitting at my desk this evening, trying to get some constructive writing done, Little Woman taps me on the shoulder and says “I made a card for you.” Awwww! I know, cute, right?! I pluck my earphones off, swing my chair around and give her my full attention. She then reads to me, in full description, her card titled ‘Happy Face Book Day!’
Um, I was expecting a homemade Christmas card, but ok, whatever. Here’s the cover:
PICTORIAL: This is me at my desk, with my daughter standing patiently at my side, and some silly stick figure in the upper right hand corner.
IN TRANSLATION: this is me, apparently 4 feet wide, sitting in a chair 1-foot wide, drinking wine and on the computer, Facebooking. Next to me is Little Woman yelling “hey mom, the house is on fire!” with my hubby burning in the background screaming “oh, hot!” My apparent response is “mmmhu.” I can hear the total lack of emotion in that one word.
Oh wait, this shit gets better.
Open up the card and I see this:
VERBAGE: “Dear mom I tell you things like the house is on fire. But you don’t believe me. and that’s how we ended up in the ER. Oh, and your Facebook page isn’t off we just deleted Facebook for you. Is that helpful enough for you?”
PICTORIAL: (Me) “you didn’t tell me the house was on fire!” (Little Woman) “Yes I did!” The next picture is of apparently my poor third-degree burned hubby receiving the D-fib paddles in attempts to save his life.
I’m not sure if this card is a statement or a total cry for attention. Or perhaps this is Little Woman’s attempt at humor. After all, apple doesn’t fall far from the Sarcastic Tree. Needless to say, it made me laugh, then think, then laugh again. I’d like to think that she took the liberty to embellish my everyday routine of losing myself on my computer as I write…..or Facebook. Or, as in most cases, both at the same time.
And despite popular belief, I’m sure that if the house or my hubby were burning in flames, I would at least take the 30 seconds it takes to call 911. After that, I can’t promise anything.