4 a.m.

4 a.m.

Tick Tock. It’s four o’clock. Do you know where your mama is? Right here in  the dark eyes of the room, trying to find my sheep to count. But they aren’t in my  pasture.  They are having tacos with the sandman. My sheep are taking a lunch break from their jumping duties. Not good.

With my tired eyes squinting, I sift the dark as the blue glow from the cable box bulls-eye me like a laser. No warning, Heat radiates, fast and furious without fire. The rays of my inner sun beam through and on top of my body, and I begin to sweat. I yank off the covers like superman swishes his cape, revealing my bare glistening limbs held captive by the flame.

I turn toward my hubby. He blissfully slumbers uncharacteristically light, heaving like a soothing Darth Vader. I don’t want to wake him, but I’m dying here, whew! I resist the urge to nudge him. My inner sun tucks under a cloud just as fast as it revealed itself. The rays no longer lick my legs and neck like a drunken old man. Instead the coolness of the conditioned air evaporates my body’s moisture. Almost instantly. I pull the covers back over me as I turn over to give sleep another try. Shouldn’t those sheep be back on duty by now?

Tales of the day race through my head like a marathon. Did I lock the garage door? Did I put up the leftovers? What am I wearing to my interview tomorrow – no today in six hours?!  All of my stockings have runs. Do I have to stop by Walgreens to pick up a pair? Will I get up on time?  Oh God, I  know I’m going to oversleep, if I go back to sleep. God, I shouldn’t have eaten that ice cream and chocolate brownie at Applebee’s . Did I brush my teeth? If my Kitty Cat were still alive, how old would she be? Why am I thinking about dead pets? Dead and Gone…I gotta watch Gone Baby Gone on Netflix. Did I pay the cable bill? Do I have to pee? I don’t feel like getting up and…Oh my inner sun peeps from behind the cloud and radiates  once again. The  sweat arises like a sauna. Ugh, can’t breath. I kick off the covers again! I feel moist. So moist. The air feels good though. Ooo, nice and cool. The sweat dries again. As rapidly as the heat rises, it descends and turns the comforting air to cold. Goose pimples replace the sweat.

I pull the covers over me in disgust. Darth Vader moves  a bit.  This is getting old. Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off. I turn over on my stomach. Sheep ain’t back yet? I’m docking their paycheck. I feel something crawl under the sheets. It is Darth Vader’s right hand. Still in sleep state, he finds my back and begins to rub it just like he did our sons when they were babies. I see the sheep stroll back from their over-due lunch. They assume their position in front of my proverbial  fence. The tall one leaps and the next sheep follows, and the next sheep, and the next, and the – three, four, five, six, sev…

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

That’s all there is to it. And if you did it right, it will look like this:

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Leave a comment

  • Advertisement:
  • Advertisement:
  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Meet The Blogger


    I pursued a satisfying career in the advertising industry, served as a volunteer mentor and parent educator at my two (now grown up) sons' schools and have actually stayed happily married for over a quarter of a century. However, my most gratifying achievement was raising my sons well. I'm not saying there wasn't a little bit of hell raising going on, but you live and learn. Now I'm passing the knowledge on to you. My goal is to turn these nuggets of wisdom into reference books for parents.

  • Monthly Archives

  • Tags

  • More offerings by Edye…

    Check out my other blogs: "Trending Over 40", An informational blog for those over 40 who find themselves social-media challenged, http://trendingover40.com "Black Copy" Reflections of a veteran ad chick, http://eldhughes.wordpress.com. You can find samples of my ad work on this site. Simply click on TV and Print tabs. Also check out my company, Hughes Who Productions http://hugheswhoproductions.com. We develop games and animation for casinos, marketers and educational institutions. Thank you for your interest. Blessings... Edye
  • Advertisement: