19 Things only quilters say

Quilters are a special breed of folks, we just are. We’re fun, we love to sew and we have a lingo all our own. Our families and friends may understand what we are saying but the world at large needs some help.

For a smile and as a guide to the uninitiated, here are things only Quilters say.

1. Can you brush the threads off me? – No, this is not a seductive invitation, we have threads all over us. Help me get them off before I go outside.

2. Leave your shoes on! – We are not compassionate about your plantar fasciitis, we are worried about errant pins.

3. How many yards should I buy? – This has nothing to do with lawn care and is basically a rhetorical question.yard

4. I have to work on my UFO’s. – This quilter has not had experiences with aliens. Instead, they need to go upstairs and sew.

5. I bought some fat quarters. Don’t ask, it’s about fabric. In fact, it’s nearly always about fabric.

6. Have you even been to the show in Sisters? If you thought your quilter friend was an only child you are still correct. This is location.

7. I went to Paducah – Just nod and smile. It’s another location.

8. I am going to a quilt show. – Do not say, they have shows for quilts? Nodding and smiling are always good responses.

guild9. I finally learned how to sew curves. – It’s not a weight loss program. A simple congrats will do.

10. My guild is having a retreat. – Yes, there are quilting guilds, no, they are not odd. This retreat is not for meditation or business. It’s all about sewing.

11. I started a new quilt. – Do not ask if previous quilts are finished. Also, do not ask why. Previous finished quilts and reason for a quilt are not important. Just keeping sewing.

12. I’m a sewist. – I understand that you can’t find this word in the dictionary. You can find sewer, I agree but there are two meanings. Sewist only has one meaning.

13. I need more fabric. – Need is obviously used correctly here. Just as you need water, oxygen and food, we need fabric.

14. Look what I got on Massdrop – Be excited, this item was purchased for a bargain price.long-arm

15. My friend is a longarmer. – Don’t be alarmed, the arms of this friend are perfectly ordinary. The arms are those on a really big quilting machine.

16. I’m a modern quilter. – As a matter of fact there are different designations of quilting. This one uses brighter colors, more solids and might not be what you are expecting.

17. I am making 12.5 inch blocks. – These blocks are not neighborhoods. Think fabrics sewn together.

jelly-roll18. I need a jelly roll. – Hunger is beside the point, this is a desire for fabric strips rolled up.

19. We need to baste that. – Not the turkey, the quilt top.

If you nodded your head in a knowing fashion, congratulations. You are a quilter. Or you’re married to one.

Either way, you are warm and cozy at night.

Sew happy!

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I wrote a post about what NOT to say to quilters in order to understand your quilting friends even more.

Filed under: humor

Tags: Quilter sayings

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