6 Descriptions of quilts you will never read at any Quilt Show ever

I go to as many quilt shows as I can squeeze in and I always have a wonderful time. I float about at first, then I circle back and focus on those quilts which made my eyes light up. I always read the descriptions. Sometimes they are short and other times long and often poignant. I have never read any that were snarky, goofy, sarcastic or humorous. Today, that changes! You are about to read descriptions of quilts you will never read at any quilt show, ever!


Quilt Name: Milly  Quilter: Long suffering Lena

I started this quilt as a baby quilt right before my Mother in Law came to live with us. She decreed that her children owed her and she moved into our room. I decided that I would just keep working on it until we had our room and bed back. It also kept me from going to prison. I worked on it and just kept making it bigger. By the time my husband convinced his brother to take a turn it was 120 by 120 inches.

I named it MIL for her and then changed it to Milly. We’ve since sold the house and moved into a RV, no permanent address.


Quilt Name: Jelly roll  Quilter: N.V.

I decided to start quilting because of the man up the block. He was always bragging about how his quilts were so great and won all these prizes. I wanted to beat him at his own game. Turns out that he gave me a lot of help and advice when I was just starting out, we’ve even become friends and started a guild together.

I still want to my quilt to do better than his.


Quilt Name: Sew Long  Quilter: Bitt Terr

A couple of years ago my ex asked me for a divorce and after the police came, he decided moving out sooner was a good idea. He grabbed a few clothes and left. I packed the remaining items all in bags for him but took a few squares out of each garment first.

I then hand pieced them so I could stab his clothes hundreds of time with needles. By the time I was finished I decided to start a new chapter. I now own a quilt store south of the border and ignore all those letters from his lawyers asking for compensation for willful destruction of private property.


Quilt Name: None of your business  Quilter: Mama Mia

I made this quilt for my first born who was born several months early. He weighed 9 pounds and was 22 inches long. Can you believe he arrived only 6 months after we got married? Who knew that people would doubt our math.

This has always been our story to my mom and it always will be.


Quilt Name: Sanity  Quilter: Mother of triplets

I love my triplets, I really do. I love being a Mom and savor every moment. But I felt like I needed something for me that had nothing to do with being a Mom. CEO of Facebook was taken and no movie offers were coming my way so I started a quilt.

I began by quilting 3 minutes at a time, one for each baby and I would work on my quilt every day. I doubled the minutes each year as they grew and could see that yes, I did have a bit of free time every single day and created a beautiful quilt by the time they went to kindergarten. Plus, no time spent in an asylum.


Quilt Name: No way  Quilter: Doubting Donna

My quilt guild had a challenge which involved us making a modern quilt with only solids. I rolled my eyes and didn’t want to join in. I don’t like modern quilts. I decided not to be a Negative Nancy and give it a try. Guess what? It wasn’t that bad, in fact I liked it. Some modern quilter gave a lecture and I thought, oh heck, I can do that. So I did.

I enjoyed changing an opinion so much I may lead a sit in or something next.

Sew happy!

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I have written humor posts before. See if you like this one.

Filed under: humor

Tags: quilt show descriptions

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    Kathy Mathews

    My passions are quilting and sewing. Add to that French, Spanish, books, swimming, travels, new restaurants, yoga and chocolate and you have me. All of these are best shared with family and friends. Except for chocolate, don't touch my chocolate. You can email me at QuiltingSewingCreating@gmail.com

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