How do you respond to odd questions and comments? Do you shake your head, give a response or remain silent? I know we have all gotten a few in our lives, sometimes about quilting and sewing and sometimes about every other subject in the world. As I grow older, I try to not respond, that’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way and still haven’t conquered.
I have been writing a list for a while trying to remember things I have heard. Most of the time I have remained silent or said something nonsensical. But let’s pretend I was under a spell and spoke what I was really thinking, now that I’ve had time to think up a clever response.
1. I like your pink jacket, but I wouldn’t wear it with that. Works for me, I wasn’t going to lend it to you.
2. You’re a quilter? How did you become interested in such an antiquated activity? I picked it up during the Civil War.
3. Have you ever thought of wearing make up? I have but I am just too darn good looking as is.
4. It’s good to have some tall teachers finally. Even better if we were green and jolly.
5. Did you mean to do that or was it a mistake. Depends, did you like it?
6. When you walk, it’s like you’re standing still. Thank you!
7. If it wasn’t for classroom management, I would be a great teacher. No, not even then.
8. You’re a teacher? I thought you would accomplish so much more in life. I see you have fulfilled your promise as a teen.
9. I can tell you made that yourself. I know, quality shows.
10. (About red shoes) There’s no place like home! I’m Dorothy, which witch are you?
11. Are you pregnant or just fat? Fat, and your mother must be so proud of you.
12. Are you STILL doing that quilting, don’t you get sick of it? Nope, it’s like breathing, I really like it.
13. What do you have against the Elf on the Shelf? He’s a creepy tattle tale and was made up to make money.
14. Whose singing voice is that? Kathy! Can you please just mouth the words? ( ) Lips making “sure” movement.
15. Why would you want to go to Cuba? I’m secretly a communist.
16. Are you her real mother? I am certainly not pretend.
17. Is your daughter from North Korea or South Korea? North, she’s a communist also.
18. You ‘re not one of them modern quilters, are you? No, I just play one on TV.
19. Are you going to tell your daughter she was adopted? Seriously?
20. I can tell I am not the favorite, I didn’t get a quilt. You are correct.
I have actually never given any of those snarky responses. I try hard to keep my lips zipped.
Well, almost never. But it’s fun to pretend that I am glib and quick with the retorts. And I am great at thinking of them, later that night. When I am in bed.
I feel unburdened now, thanks!
And being a quilter, modern or not, makes me Sew happy!
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Liked this post? I wrote one once on nonsnarky comebacks to have at your disposal.