Losing touch with my best friend

It is blogapalooza time and tonight we have one hour to write a post on the following topic.

Write about a friend or acquaintance from your childhood with whom you’ve lost touch

In my lifetime I have had some friends who have slowly drifted away but only a couple of times where there has been a “break up” or a conscious decision by one party to not be friends any longer with the other person. When this has happened, the other person usually initiates it and it takes me a while to figure it all out. In my life, it was very painful to experience losing touch with my best friend.Necklace 2 - 600-750x750

When I was younger I was a pretty serious kid. I read books a lot and had very little athletic ability. OK, none.

In about 4th grade, I decided I wanted a best friend and I wanted one badly. I asked my penpal in New Zealand if she would be my best friend. She readily agreed but it was really not my fantasy come true although I did enjoy the letters.

In 5th grade I became part of a trio of friends. I don’t know if you have ever seen a successful threesome of three girl best friends but this was not it. I was usually the odd gal out.

img291And then in 7th grade, right there in my homeroom, I met Anne and we became best friends. It was everything I had hoped it would be. We were both tall and we liked the same boy. When she went “steady” with him, I enjoyed it vicariously during their entire days long romance.

We were both smart, we worked hard in school and loved the Monkees. When we had the 27″ snowfall in 1967, I trudged over to her house. I knew we would be best friends forever.

Or, until her dad took a new job in Des Moines and they moved. I was heartsick. We wrote and called. Her parents let her come back for 8th grade img292graduation.

My parents let me go out and visit her. We even go to see the Monkees. What could go wrong?

Things started to change in high school, even though I refused to admit it. We still called and wrote but as there was no internet, we really didn’t know that much about each other.

She came to visit me during our Junior year. Her behaviors were more daring than mine, her attitudes more carefree. This was not my best friend fantasy.

When we first went away to college, she loved it and I was homesick. I was jealous of her and wrote some jealous comments about how it takes longer to get used to a big university than a small college. Dumb thing to write.

She was also enjoying college in ways that most people did back then. I was pretty much a goody two shoes, straight and narrow kind of coed. I judged her behaviors.

MONKEESThings were much more complicated than when we watched the Monkees on TV and passed notes. I didn’t like that we had differences, big differences. I had a lot to learn.

One day I got a letter from her stating that she didn’t enjoy my comments, my letters or me anymore. She was done with me and she would never write me again.

And she didn’t. I sent her multiple apologies and never got a response. I was sad and ashamed of myself. I knew I was the one who had made the spiteful comments; she wasn’t judging me.

I have never spoken to her or communicated with her to this day. She is not on Facebook although a mutual friend is and gave me her cell phone number. Me being me, this was not a way in which I was comfortable to rekindle our relationship.

I wanted to write first, you may have gathered that I like to write. It seemed like a better way to make contact rather than calling and getting someone in the middle of something.

I learned from this loss that nothing lasts forever and that people change. I also learned that some times a friendship runs its course and it’s time to move on. Anne acknowledged this and took action.

I think I was infatuated with the concept of a best friend and it wasn’t the last time I did it. I tend to hang onto relationships that are no longer working just because. Hey, once a friend always a friend was my motto for a very long time.

Once a friend and later a good memory is sometimes the better way to go.

In my current life, my husband is my best friend, even if he doesn’t adore the Monkees.

Sew happy!

Want to see what else I like besides the Monkees? (Quilts for one!) Check out my Facebook page. Like the page and join the conversation!

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I’ve written about friendship another time. They’re more complicated than I used to think. You can read it here.

Filed under: blogapalooza, Friendship

Tags: best friend

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